


counting down the seconds (till i finally meet you)

by mayrunal



Category: BLANC7 (Band)
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Angst, College AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Lots of Crying, M/M, Mentions of past child abuse, Self-Doubt, Soulmates AU, again cringe, also i was really mean to kkid oops, and literally all of them cry, background spaul, mentions of past abusive relationship, plationic kchi & seongjeong, prepare to cringe, so ooc omfg, this whole thing is so cringey man, unrealistic, very, where they have the watch you know, why??? i dont know dont ask
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 12:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14401839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayrunal/pseuds/mayrunal
Summary: taichi didn’t check his watch the day he was supposed to have met his soulmate (oops), so now he has no fucking clue who his soulmate is.euijeong realizes pretty quickly that the pretty but also very sick silver haired boy he helped—his soulmate, mind you—doesn’t know that they’re soulmates and now he was no idea what to do.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> **the soulmates AU i’m using is the one where everyone gets a watch on their 18th birthday that counts down to when you meet your soulmate. when you meet them, it disappears. didn’t want y’all to be confused 
> 
> hey y’all here’s a taino (tenchi?) fanfic for you. it’s going to be chaptered and actually have a plot. i was going to add smut but decided against it because i really couldn’t decide who would top lmao 
> 
> anyway enjoy

_**0 years, 0 months, 1 week, 0 days, 7 hours, 57 minutes, 33 seconds.** _

taichi doesn't like this whole soulmate thing.

he's got this watch on his wrist that counts down to when he meets his soulmate, everyone does, but he doesn't really want to meet his soulmate. he even left japan for korea on a whim, hoping that would escape him from the fate of meeting his soulmate but since the time keeps going down, he doesn't think it worked. his friends have tried to convince him that it's fine, and there's nothing to be afraid of nor anything to dread, but he's still not convinced.

("whoever they are, they're your soulmate, taichi, and it's meant to be." jiwon tried to explain to him one day, "it'll work out fine."

"yeah, but how do you know that? what if my 'soulmate' is some rapist? or serial killer? i don't even know who this person is and yet i'm supposed to love them? i don't like it." taichi argued.

jiwon sighed. "just have a little bit of faith? besides, it's not like you have to date whoever the person is, anyway."

"well, still. this whole thing is stupid." taichi said, and jiwon gave up.)

it's not like he has reason to believe it won't work, after all, seonghwan and sungchan are soulmates and it worked out great for them. but taichi's already had a bad experience in relationships before, and he doesn't want to do _that_ again. he's perfectly fine being alone and no 'soulmate' is going to change his mind.

probably.

 

-•-

 

**_0 years, 0 months, 0 weeks, 6 days, 7 hours, 39 minutes, 4 seconds._ **

euijeong doesn't know how to feel about the fact that he's going to meet his soulmate in six days. he's been told that he should be excited and happy, because some people have to wait over ten years before they finally meet their soulmate. but, well, euijeong's already waited eight years so far and last time he checked, eight and ten aren't that far apart.

he's been in a few relationships here and there, most of them nice, one of them a little strange. (he was a sugar baby for a rich dude for a while when he first started college to pay off his student loans and that's an interesting story.)

but none of them lasted very long and euijeong's been told it's because none of them were his soulmate.

so maybe he is a little excited, after all, he has been waiting eight years and he's essentially an old man by now.

_i just hope they'll actually love me._

 

-•-

 

 ** _0 years, 0 months, 0 weeks, 6 days, 1 hour, 34 minutes, 18 seconds_**.

"hyung, i'm back." taichi called as he walked in the door of his dorm room, carrying some cheap ass groceries because he's broke as fuck, before kicking off his shoes and walking into the kitchen.

his roommate is geonwoong, they're both freshmen and share a small, shitty dorm room. geonwoong's sweet and he's helped taichi through a lot, so the two of them are close, but geonwoong can also be pretty annoying.

"already? ooh, did you meet your soulmate while you were there??" geonwoong asked, plopping down on a chair at their tiny, pathetic little table and watching taichi excitedly.

"for the hundredth time hyung, _no_ , i still have six days left."

"well, six is close to zero. are you excited? you should be."

"no, not at all." taichi said, throwing the small carton of milk he'd bought in their mini fridge.

"well, can you at least try to be? for me?"

taichi sighed. he'd like to say no, but he knows he can't. geonwoong doesn't have a watch—it's estimated that one in every one hundred million people don't—and it means that he's in the very, very small percentage of people who don't have a soulmate. taichi feels bad for him because geonwoong wants a soulmate, and taichi wishes he could just give his watch to geonwoong but he knows he can't.

"yeah, alright. i'll try."

geonwoong smiled. "good. you are going to move on from yuhwan and you're going to get yourself a man who loves you. do you hear me? this will be good for you." he said, getting up to help taichi with the groceries, but not before giving him an affecionate flick on the forehead.

"ow! stop doing that, it hurts." taichi whined.

"i'm just making sure you know i care about you."

"well, do it in a less violent way." taichi grumbled, rubbing his forehead.

"aww, are you asking for a kiss?" geonwoong teased, throwing a bag of chips up on a shelf because he was too small to reach it.

"you know what? flicking is fine."

"exactly what i thought. don't complain, you big baby." geonwoong laughed, flicking him on the forehead again.

"ow!! at _least_ do it softer!"

 

-•-

 

**_0 years, 0 months, 0 weeks, 6 days, 1 hour, 34 minutes, 18 seconds._ **

"seonghwan, i'm not doing your laundry for you." euijeong said to the older, who was currently watching a rerun of pororo.

seonghwan and euijeong are roommates, both being in their third year of college. seonghwan can be really helpful when he wants to be but he can also be a huge pain in the ass.

“okay.” seonghwan responded, but euijeong could tell he wasn’t paying any attention to him.

“which means you’ve got to do it yourself.” euijeong said.

“but i don’t wanna.” he whined. “can’t i do it tomorrow?”

“that’s what you said yesterday. it’s tomorrow already, so do your damn laundry.” euijeong said sternly.

seonghwan stood up and pouted. “you’re so mean.” he grumbled, before walking to his room to get his laundry.

euijeong sighed. _i swear to god, how is this man 27 years old?_

he knew that seonghwan was going to ask him to walk down to the laundry room with him, he always does, so he leaned against the counter and looked down at the watch on his wrist to wait.

**_0 years, 0 months, 0 weeks, 6 days, 1 hour, 5 minutes, 57 seconds._ **

he really didn’t know what to think of all of it. he’s been waiting anxiously for eight whole years, but now that the time was so close, he was kind of scared. what if this person was an alcoholic or a drug addict or something awful like that? there were many negative possibilities because this person is a complete stranger. what if they end up hating each other?

 _well_ , euijeong supposes, _it’s not like we_ have _to date. if we don’t like each other, then it won’t be the end of the world._

he remembers a story he heard in class about how soulmates used to be forced to be together by law, and how one woman’s soulmate was some pedophile who later raped their own child.

he feels himself shudder. _god, i hope nothing like that happens. but...what if-_

euijeong’s thoughts were cut off when seonghwan gently grabbed his wrist, covering euijeong’s watch.

“hey, it’ll be okay.” seonghwan said softly. “i know what you’re thinking, but don’t be scared. it’ll work out well, i promise. good people are given good soulmates. you’ll be alright, and whoever your soulmate is will make you happy.”

euijeong nodded, giving the older a soft smile. “thanks, seonghwan.”

“of course. if you ever start getting anxious, tell me, okay? i know how it feels, i’ll be here for you.” he said. “now, can you come with me? i don’t want to go alone.” he pleaded, holding up the small basket of clothes he was holding.

euijeong chuckled. “yeah, i know, you baby, i’m coming.”


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y’all here’s chapter two :) this one’s a lot longer for ya

**_0 years, 0 months, 0 weeks, 2 days, 5 hours, 15 minutes, 12 seconds._ **

"huh, i guess that does make sense." taichi heard geonwoong say.

they were sitting in their shared bedroom and geonwoong was looking at the calender they had on the wall while taichi was laying on his bed, playing on his phone.

"what does?" taichi asked.

"well, you're supposed to meet your soulmate in two days, right? in two days, you're transferring to a new class for calculus. that means your soulmate's in that new class."

taichi flinched slightly at the word 'soulmate'.

the closer the time neared, the more anxious he became. his thoughts have been nothing but negative recently and the worry and anxiety has been keeping him up at night. geonwoong has tried his best to help and taichi appreciates it a lot but there's nothing that can really be done.

"maybe i'll pretend i'm sick so i won't have to go." taichi said absentmindedly, and geonwoong gave him a sad look.

_no, don't look at me like that. you're making me feel guilty._

geonwoong got up and sat down on the bed next to where taichi was laying.

"taichi," he said softly, "i know this is hard for you. but yuhwan isn't here anymore and he can't control you. please don't let this opportunity go just because that asshole said you don't deserve it, because you _do_."

taichi felt his eyes begin to water up. geonwoong seemed to always know exactly what taichi was worried about and exactly how to help, but taichi really didn't want to talk about this right now. he's had nightmares about his ex all week and it's not something he wants to discuss.

geonwoong carefully moved taichi's head onto his lap and gently ran his fingers through taichi's hair. "i know it's hard to believe me, but _please_ try to, taichi. you deserve to be loved, and you deserve to love in return. you're _meant_ to, and the proof is all in this watch on your wrist." he continued softly, grabbing taichi's phone out of his hands and placing it next to him before gently grasping taichi's wrist and rubbing his thumb over the watch. "i don't have one, and it means _i'm_ the one that won't ever be loved and _i'm_ the one who won't ever truly love in return. i don't deserve it but you _do_ , you always have and you always will. so _please_ , taichi, whoever your soulmate is, let them love you the way you deserve to be loved. give them a _chance_ , and if it doesn't work out then i'll be right here for you. okay? can you do that for me? can you try?" he pleaded.

tears were slowly running down taichi's cheeks but he made no move to wipe them. "okay, i'll try, hyung." he said weakly.

geonwoong sighed.

"come here, taichi." he said, laying down next to the boy and taichi threw his arms around him and buried his face in geonwoong's chest, trying his best to stop the tears. geonwoong's quite a bit smaller than taichi but he was still so warm and comforting, taichi clung to him like a lifeline. geonwoong held him and rocked him slightly, planting a soft kiss to his hair and taichi felt like a baby.

all of it just wasn't fair to geonwoong, he's so caring and sweet and cute but he'll never have a soulmate, and now he's got to console taichi who's laying here crying like a baby because he's scared of meeting his. it just wasn't _fair_.

_why couldn't_ i _have been the one without a watch?_

"you care about me too much." geonwoong said, chuckling quietly while gently petting taichi's head.

"i didn't even say anything." taichi responded, sniffling every now and then but mostly done crying.

"you don't need to, i know what you're thinking. well...that, and you're squeezing me really, really hard."

"oh shit, i'm sorry." taichi said sheepishly, immediately loosening the death grip he had on geonwoong's waist.

"you're fine, don't look so guilty." geonwoong laughed. "anyway, when you meet your soulmate, text me a picture. i'll determine whether or not he's worthy of you."

taichi rolled his eyes, lifting his head up off geonwoong's chest to look him in the eyes. "you're ridiculous."

"hey! i'm just _saying_ , if they're ugly as fuck i'm not going to let you date them."

"that's mean, hyung, you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. were you not paying attention in kindergarten?"

"i don't care, this is for you and you deserve only the best. if they aren't royalty they're not worthy."

"oh my god i don't know you anymore." taichi said, shoving geonwoong off the bed. he fell with a loud _thump_ and a very loud yelp and taichi giggled.

"ow! taichi, i'm your hyung! don't push hyung off the bed, that's mean!!" geonwoong whined, sitting up and rubbing his back. "next time i order chinese food you're not getting any." he said, glaring at taichi.

taichi laughed. "oh no, how _ever_ shall i survive." he said sarcastically.

"i hate you." geonwoong grumbled, and taichi giggled again before he grabbed geonwoong's arm and yanked him back up.

"you're lucky to have me, you brat." geonwoong said.

"i know i am, hyung."

-•-

**_0 years, 0 months, 0 weeks, 2 days, 5 hours, 15 minutes, 12 seconds._ **

"i told you to stop worrying about it, jeongie. you're making yourself anxious for no reason." seonghwan said, but euijeong paid him no mind. they were sitting on the couch watching a movie together, (seonghwan's attempt to get euijeong's mind off of the whole soulmate thing) but euijeong couldn't focus. he was so anxious about meeting his soulmate, it was happening in _two_ _days_.

"i know, i know, and i'm trying." euijeong said, staring down at his hands in his lap.

seonghwan reached over and grabbed one of euijeong's hands, using his thumb to rub slow circles into the middle of euijeong's palm, the way they always do with each other to show that they really mean what they're saying.

"hey, don't worry about it so much, okay? you'll be alright. you're handsome and you're sweet and caring—whoever they are would be stupid not to love you. i know you're afraid, but there's no reason to be. even if they are your soulmate, they're just a person as well. they're probably just as anxious as you. you'll be just fine, i promise." seonghwan said, smiling reassuringly.

euijeong took a deep breath before nodding. "thanks, seonghwan. i know it's got to be annoying that you keep having to do this."

"it's fine. i was the same way the week before i met sungchan. i just about drove jiwon crazy." seonghwan chuckled.

euijeong laughed. "i can believe that. you just about drive me crazy on a daily basis."

"hey! i'm not _that_ bad."

"really? aren't you? because you never do your laundry, you don't help me clean, _and_ you bring sungchan here sometimes and i can hear you every time because the walls are thin and you are _not_ quiet-"

"shut up! i don't- i'm not- i'm not a bottom!" seonghwan interrupted, face flushed.

"that's not what you were saying on saturday. i'm pretty sure i heard a 'fuck me' and-"

"hwang euijeong i swear to _god_ say one more word and i'll break your neck." seonghwan threatened, face now a dark shade of red, and euijeong laughed.

"i'm sorry, jeez! i'm just teasing. no need to get so violent."

seonghwan pouted and euijeong reached out and grabbed his hand, rubbing a small circle into the center of his palm, the same way seonghwan had done. "really though, in all seriousness, thank you. you've helped me so much and i don't think i can say it enough." euijeong said softly, and seonghwan smiled.

"i'll always be here for you, jeongie. no matter what."

-•-

**_0 years, 0 months, 0 weeks, 0 days, 1 hour, 5 minutes, 29 seconds._ **

taichi woke up feeling like shit.

his head hurt, his body ached, he was tired as fuck, and he _really_ did not want to go to class. he could tell right away that he was sick after a few seconds of painful coughing, and he wanted to just fall back in bed, curl up in the blankets, and go back to sleep. but since he is going into a new class today, he knows he can't.

_it's only an hour and a half._ he thought to himself, _i can make it._

however as he stumbled after the first step he took, he thought _maybe not._ he looked over at geonwoong who was still sound asleep and pondered waking him up, but later decided against it. he couldn't do that to him and besides, geonwoong is literally impossible to wake up anyway.

it took him a good ten minutes just to get into the shower and it's a miracle he didn't slip and break his goddamn neck while doing so. as he stood under the water wanting to melt into a puddle and flow down the drain as well, he was reminded of his terrible decision to go out and buy sleeping pills last night without an umbrella in the pouring rain. geonwoong had yelled at him for being the dumb fuck he was, _(what's wrong with you you're going to get sick now i could've gotten them for you, you should've at least brought an umbrella why are you so dumb you little-)_

yeah.

well, in taichi's defense, he wanted to get some sleep for once. except he accidentally took too many pills, and now he really wants to sleep. that could also be part of the reason he feels like crap right now, but oh well. he only took like two or three extra, so he's not going to die and it won't do any damage but he's not about to tell geonwoong that because geonwoong might chop off his head.

it took him another twenty minutes after that to get dressed because the world spun every like, ten seconds but he did successfully get ready.

the building his class was in was only down the street, _thank god,_ so the walk was only about five or ten minutes and he managed to survive. he used to have calculus on tuesday but they transferred him out of that class, (there was a reason but taichi can't really remember, it hurts his head even more to think at the current moment) and now he's going to have it on thursday instead. he's kind of bummed out about that because thursday he didn't have any classes and he could work longer shifts to earn more money but now he's got a class.

he was a little late when he walked in but the class was all working on some project and no one paid him any mind.

he went up to the professor and prayed he wouldn't be scolded for being late. but the professor just nodded at him and said "they're working on a project. you can join euijeong, over there, and he'll explain. your class was a little behind, so you hadn't started yet. don't worry, you won't get any points off. euijeong's over there." he pointed in the corner at a boy sitting alone at a table working and taichi nodded with a pathetic little "thank you" and walked over to him.

the guy— _euijeong_ , taichi reminded himself—looked up as he walked over and smiled.

"you're taichi, right?"

taichi nodded.

"well, hi, i'm euijeong. here, you can sit." euijeong said. pointing at the chair. taichi just nodded dully again because _fuck_ he just felt worse, before he sat down in the chair.

he wanted to just lay his head down on the table and sleep but he figured that would be a bad first impression on this guy so he decided against it.

"are you alright? you look sick." euijeong said, concern evident in his features, and before taichi could respond euijeong reached up and felt his forehead. his hand was so cold and taichi hadn't even noticed how hot he'd felt until then. he leaned slightly into the touch with zero shame because he felt like shit and euijeong's hand was cold and made the throbbing in his head die down a bit.

"you've got a pretty high fever...you really shouldn't be here. do you have any classes later?" he asked, voice soft, and taichi was grateful for it.

"no." he croaked out.

"well...here. i'll ask the professor if we can work on it outside of class so you can go home. do you have an apartment or do you live in a dorm?"

"i'm in the dorms." taichi said weakly. he didn't want to miss class, but sleeping sounded really nice right about now.

"alright. i'll be right back." euijeong said, and got up to go talk to the professor.

taichi appreciated it so much and wished he could express that but everything hurt and it was hard to think clearly. he felt bad for euijeong, the dude had just been working on his project but now he's got to take care of taichi because of taichi's stupid decisions.

taichi's really not good at this whole being a good person thing, is he?

he jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"sorry, i didn't mean to scare you." euijeong said. "but the professor said you could go. so where is your dorm? i'll walk you there."

taichi was so relieved. "thank you so much. but you don't have to walk me, i can go on my own."

"nope, you don't have a choice. i'm not having you faint in the middle of the street. now come on, i'll carry your stuff."

taichi wanted to argue, but he was tired and ready to sleep so he just got up and followed euijeong out.

"what building are you in?" euijeong asked when they'd gotten outside.

"that one." taichi said, (quite unhelpfully) before pointing to his building which was literally straight in front of them down the street.

"isn't that nice? you're really close. that's good." euijeong said. "oh, also, do you have a roommate? anyone who can watch you?"

taichi nodded, and quickly decided he should stop doing that because it made his head swirl unpleasantly. "i have a roommate, but he's at work right now." he responded, voice still croaky and weak. and it was true, right about now, geonwoong should be at work or leaving for work. he works at the coffee shop down the road, along with taichi, and the only reason geonwoong wasn't up when taichi was is because he always wakes up literally like ten minutes before he needs to go.

"will you be okay on your own?" euijeong asked softly.

taichi nodded again, and wanted to shoot himself in the face because it hurt so much. "i'll be okay."

"i feel bad, though...i don't think i should just leave you on your own, especially when you're sick...oh! here, this is my phone number." euijeong said, pulling out an index card and pencil out of his bag and scribbling his number down on it. "if you need anything, don't be afraid to text me. and i don't want to rush you because we have all week but whenever you're ready to work on the project, tell me and we'll work on it. okay?" he said, voice gentle, and taichi wanted to get down on his knees and thank korean jesus for this angel.

"thank you." taichi said, trying to emphasize his gratefulness but he doesn't think he was very successful.

when they finally reached taichi's building, taichi was quick to tell euijeong he could go back to class.

"are you sure you'll be okay?" euijeong asked.

"i'm sure. i'm just going to sleep, so i'll be fine." taichi responded.

"okay, well, if you're sure. remember, text me if you need anything, alright? drink a lot of water, don't move around too much. and get a lot of rest! take cold medicines, too." he said, and taichi laughed weakly, even though it hurt his throat.

"i got it, _mom_ , i'll be fine."

"i'm just making sure! but seriously, do get a lot of rest. it'll help. and...well, it was nice meeting you, taichi. i'll look forward to seeing you again." euijeong said, and with a, "rest well! and drink water!!" he was off, walking back to class, quite quickly.

he looked embarrased, but taichi didn't question it, everything hurt _way_ too much to do so, and walked back up to his dorm.

he flopped down on the bed, not even bothering to change at all, and curled up underneath the blankets.

_euijeong is so nice._ taichi thought as he drifted off to sleep. _i hope i'll see him again soon._

and then he was fast asleep.

-•-


	3. three

euijeong just about screamed when he got back to his dorm.

taichi was _beautiful_ , holy fuck, euijeong doesn't think he's ever seen somebody that attractive in his entire life. taichi has to actually be an angel sent from the heavens and he was euijeong's _soulmate_.

well, he's supposed to be, except taichi doesn't seem to know that.

euijeong knew that taichi was going to be his soulmate, after all, the professor had told him taichi was going to be working with him before class, and before taichi walked over to him, euijeong only had about five seconds left on his watch. plus, euijeong has never met taichi before.

there was no way it was anyone else.

euijeong can understand that taichi had most likely forgotten to check his watch, because the poor boy looked like he was about to fall over, he was so sick.

but the only problem was, what was euijeong supposed to do now? both of their watches were gone now and euijeong couldn't just walk up to taichi and be like "yeah hi i'm your soulmate love me". there's no way he'd believe euijeong.

_what if he's not my soulmate after all?_ he thought. _now that i think about it, it feels like i've met him before..._

and it was true, the name _taichi_ did sound suspisciously familiar, though euijeong couldn't figure out why. taichi definitely wasn't korean, his name and face gave that away, along with the silver hair—not that many koreans dyed their hair silver.

but if that was the case, then who was euijeong's soulmate? did he even have one?

maybe he's like geonwoong, maybe he doesn't have a soulmate. except he has a watch, and geonwoong never had a watch.

_maybe i'll ask geonwoong about it, he should know something. besides, taichi looked about geonwoong's age anyway, maybe they know each other._

_i just hope i figure something out._

 

-•-

 

the second taichi woke up, he knew something was wrong.

he felt a lot better now, the ache in his head went away. his nose was still really stuffed up and he coughed often but other than that, he was relatively okay. _must have just been the sleeping pills._ he thought.

but that couldn't distract him from the fact that something was definitely wrong. he could _feel_ it, don't ask him how but he could, and he didn't like it.

it was when he looked at his hands as he was sitting in bed that he finally realized what it was.

_oh no._

his watch was gone.

he stared at his empty wrist for a good thirty seconds before he remembered that he was supposed to meet his soulmate today.

but he didn't check his watch.

and now he has no fucking clue who his soulmate is.

_shit_.

he jumped out of bed, ignoring the way his head spun in protest, before he rushed out of their bedroom and grabbed his phone off the kitchen table. he quickly checked the time and saw that he'd been asleep for about four hours, so he called geonwoong. he knew geonwoong would pick up, he always does.

_"taichi?"_

"hyung! i-i need your help on something, please, can you leave work?"

_"why? you sound horrible, taichi, is everything okay? what happened?"_

"i'm not really sure, i just...i..." taichi ran a hand through his hair. he didn't know what to say, but he knew he needed somebody to help him think because he couldn't do it himself right now. "please come here, hyung...i—i don't know what to do."

_"alright, i'll be there in a few minutes. maybe longer, i'll have to find someone who can cover the rest of my shift for me."_

"please hurry." taichi begged.

_"i will. sit tight, okay? i'll be there soon. don't worry."_ geonwoong said, and he hung up.

taichi sighed and dropped the phone down onto the table. he stared down at his empty wrist, wishing the watch was still on it.  he can't believe he actually managed to _miss_ his soulmate.

he always used to check his watch a lot, out of habit, but the _one_ _day_ that he actually needs to, he doesn't. he just can't believe himself. he knows it's his own fault—he should have listened to geonwoong and brought an umbrella last night, he shouldn't have take so many sleeping pills, he shouldn't have even been so worried about it all in the first place.

he sat down at the table and buried his face in his hands.

"fuck you, yuhwan. it's all _your_ fucking fault. if you hadn't been such an asshole in the first place, i would have actually gotten some sleep." taichi muttered angirly under his breath. the thought of that _dickhead_ pissed him off even more.

"goddamnit, _i hate you!_ " he screamed, standing up and slamming his fist down on the table. "you're nothing but a piece of shit! it's all _your fault!_ " he grabbed a cup that was sitting on the table and whipped it at the wall, causing the glass to shatter into hundreds of little shards.

"just like my fucking _heart and soul_ after what you did to me." he said. his voice cracked at the end of the sentence, and his eyes welled up with tears.

he hated it, he hated everything; he hated himself for falling for it all, hated himself for trusting yuhwan. he hated himself for letting yuhwan control him still, even after he was long gone. he hated yuhwan for being an asshole and a waste of space, for breaking taichi and turning him into what he is now.

he hated how he hated himself almost as much as he hated yuhwan, and he hated the fact that he felt like he couldn't escape him; how even now, he was still under yuhwan's control.

"why am i so weak?" he said, staring at the broken shards scattered across the floor. he wondered if that's what his heart looked like, broken into little shards.

but then realized that _no, that's not what my heart looks like. not anymore._ because geonwoong and jiwon and seonghwan and all the other guys had pieced him back together; maybe not fixed him, but they picked all those little shards up and put them back together—they made taichi whole again. and maybe, just maybe, when taichi found out who his soulmate was, they would finally fix his broken heart and mend his shattered soul.

he wiped the tears off his face and smiled. "maybe you broke me, you asshole." he said, staring down at the shards of glass. "but you can't stop me from being fixed."

taichi sat back down at the table, trying to convince himself that everything was going to be alright and geonwoong was going to help him find his soulmate, when geonwoong finally burst through the door.

"i'm here! i'm here." geonwoong said, panting slightly. "are you alright?"

when geonwoong noticed the glass shards all over the floor, taichi realized that _wait shit, i was supposed to clean that up._

"don't even think about it. don't move, taichi." geonwoong said sternly, before he took off his coat, threw it on the ground, and began picking up the shards scattered on the floor.

"hyung, don't, you're going to cut yourself-" taichi said, but geonwoong shook his head. "i'll be fine. now, why did you call me? you don't look too good, are you feeling alright?"

taichi watched him worriedly. he knew he wouldn't be able to stand it if geonwoong cut himself because of him.

"i—i missed my soulmate, hyung. i was sick today and i forgot to check my watch, and-“ taichi began.

"you're sick?!" geonwoong interrupted, looking up at taichi, "what happened— _ah_ , shit-" he said, hissing in pain, and dropping the glass he had in his hand. he had accidentally cut a big gash into the hand that was holding the sharp pieces of glass and it began bleeding pretty badly. he quickly brought it to his mouth to suck on so it wouldn't get on the floor, even though it was too big to all fit in his mouth.

"hyung, oh my _god_ , you idiot, i just told you to be careful!" taichi cried, rushing over and grabbing geonwoong's wrist, pulling it away from his mouth and examining the gash on his hand.

"you dumb fuck, you're hurt now, look what you did!" taichi said, frustration audible in his voice, as he quickly pulled geonwoong up (who is a little too light for taichi's liking) and dragged him over to the sink.

he ran the water and forced geonwoong's hand under the faucet, causing the older to hiss in pain. once the blood was washed off, taichi grabbed a paper towel, balled it up and placed it in geonwoong's hand with a stern, "hold that against the gash," before he reached up and opened up the cabinet above the sink, pulling a first aid kit out and placing it down on the counter.

he cursed at himself in his head as he opened up the small box, how could he have been so stupid? now geonwoong was hurt because of him and his dumb ass decision to chuck a glass cup at the wall.

he pulled out an alcohol pad to clean the gash but geonwoong shook his head and hugged his hand to his chest.

taichi sighed frustratedly. "hyung, give me your hand."

geonwoong shook his head again. "i don't need it, it's fine."

"it's not fine, _give me your hand._ "

"no, taichi, _really_ , i'm fine, i don't need-"

"give me your fucking hand, right. now." taichi growled, and geonwoong flinched slightly, eyes widening in hurt.

"taichi, did—did i do something wrong?" he asked, hurt audible in his voice, "why are you so mad at me? you called me, _begging_ me to come here...just so i could clean up your mess and have you yell at me for it?" he stepped away from taichi, looking betrayed. "i—i think i should go back to work, i'm sorry i bothered you..."

taichi's heart sank, and he scrambled for words to apologize. "no! no, no, shit—god, hyung, i-i'm sorry...i don't know what came over me, i got so mad at myself because it's my fault you're hurt, and i took it out on you...i'm sorry." taichi said, but geonwoong still looked upset as he quickly dropped his eyes to the floor, avoiding taichi's gaze and beginning to step back slowly.

"well, then...i'm going to finish cleaning up the glass, you...wait here, and i'll—i'll be back in a couple minutes and we'll talk about the whole soulmate thing." he said.

"hyung, _please_ , let me clean that." taichi begged. "it's my fault there was glass on the floor in the first place, i was thinking about yuhwan even though you keep telling me not to, and i threw the cup at the wall...i'm sorry. please, you need to clean that properly, or it could get infected."

he stepped closer to geonwoong and almost sighed in relief when geonwoong didn't step away.

he gently grasped geonwoong's wrist and pulled his hand towards himself, pressing the alcohol pad down on the gash and geonwoong gasped in pain but didn't pull his hand away.

taichi held the pad there for a few seconds before he pulled it off, reaching back to grab some gauze and wrapping it around geonwoong's palm.

"your hands are so small." taichi chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"yeah, well, i'm small, so it's good that i don't have abnormally large hands." geonwoong responded, and taichi laughed.

he finished wrapping geonwoong's hand and put away the first aid kit before he turned to look back at geonwoong.

"i'm sorry." taichi said softly. "i should have never snapped at you like that." 

geonwoong smiled. "it's alright. we all get angry sometimes. now, come sit down at the table and tell me everything that happened today. i have a feeling it'll probably take a while. but don't worry—whatever happened, i'm sure we'll figure something out." he said.

"thank you for leaving early for me, hyung."

"anything for you, brat."

 

-•-

 

"geonwoong, you little shit, pick up your goddamn phone." euijeong cursed under his breath. he's been trying to call geonwoong for the past fucking _forever_ but the little asshole won't answer.

after the fourth call, (and seonghwan's " _shut the fuck up_!" from the other room) euijeong decided it wasn't worth the trouble, and that he was going to have to talk to someone else.

he groaned in frustration, reminding himself to punch geonwoong later, before clicking on yeonhak's number and calling him.

yeonhak and geonwoong are close, so anything geonwoong knows, yeonhak probably knows as well.

_"hello?"_

"yeonhak-ah, i really need your help on something."

_"gosh, hyung, you could at least say a simple 'hello' first."_

"fine. _hello_ , yeonhak-ah, i really need your help on something."

_"that's better. what do you need help with?"_

"well...i was supposed to meet my soulmate today, and i did, except they don't know i'm their soulmate. it's complicated so i was hoping that you'd know him, because it would really help."

_"okay...well, what's his name?"_

"taichi."

_"oh! yeah, i know him. i've talked to him quite a few times, he's a sweet kid. he's geonwoong's roommate."_

"he's...he's what?" euijeong asked, dumbfounded. his soulmate has been his friend's roommate this whole time? how the fuck has euijeong never met him?!

_"he's geonwoong's roommate. the two of them are practically inseperable, they're about as close can be."_

"oh." euijeong said. for some reason that made him upset, knowing that someone else was so close to his soulmate. he knew it was absolutely ridiculous, considering how close he himself was with seonghwan, and he hated to be so selfish, but...

_"euijeong-hyung, do you want me to come down there so we can talk more about this?" yeonhak asked._

"yes, please." euijeong said, voice small.

_"hey, don't be so upset. trust me, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to taichi and geonwoong. though. . . there is something that i'm going to have to explain to you, and geonwoong will be really angry with me if he finds out i told you, so don't say anything about it. but it's important, and if you want to have a chance at getting close to taichi, you'll have to understand him first, alright? now, i'll be down there in a minute or two, don't work yourself up too much."_ yeonhak said, and then he hung up.

euijeong sighed and put his phone down, and then nearly jumped out of his skin when seonghwan suddely peeked his head around the corner of the hallway.

"jesus fucking _christ_ , seonghwan, don't do that!" he said, holding a hand over his heart.

"sorry. is everything alright? who was that you were talking to?" seonghwan asked.

"everything's fine. it was just yeonhak, and he's going to be here from his dorm in a minute or two."

"oh, okay. tell him i said hi."

"why can't you just say hi to him yourself?"

"because i'm playing a game. so have fun and don't bother me, please." seonghwan said, and disappeared off down the hallway.

euijeong rolled his eyes before he walked over and sat on the couch, waiting for yeonhak.

sure enough, there was a knock on the door a minute later.

he answered the door with a simple, "come in," and motioned for yeonhak to sit down the couch.

"you look upset." yeonhak observed.

"i have no idea what you're talking about." euijeong said, sitting down next to yeonhak. "now, spill it."

"okay...well, yeah, taichi is geonwoong's roommate. they're both freshmen and taichi moved here from japan three years ago. geonwoong was his first friend when he got here, and that's why they're so close. taichi's bilingual, he's a drummer, and...well, he's gay, obviously. that's all i really know about him."

euijeong took a moment to take all this new information in before he said, "no it's not," and yeonhak winced.

"i was hoping you'd have forgotten by the time i got here. what i'm about to explain to you is really important, and if you're really taichi's soulmate, you need to know. i would rather it be from taichi himself, but clearly that isn't going to happen. and again, don’t tell geonwoong, he’ll get really angry.”

euijeong nodded and waited for yeonhak to begin.

yeonhak took a deep breath. “alright...i told you that geonwoong was taichi’s first friend here in korea, right? well, he wasn’t the only one. taichi has an ex named yuhwan, and they dated for about a year. and yuhwan was an asshole. not at first, he was sweet to taichi and their relationship went well for the first few months. but...well, geonwoong had grown protective of taichi, and he didn’t trust yuhwan. he tried to convince taichi that they should break up, and that taichi should find someone better, but taichi refused.

and so, one day, taichi and geonwoong had a pretty bad fight. at that time, geonwoong had his own apartment, and so taichi lived with him. after the fight, geonwoong got upset and locked himself in his room, and later that day, taichi brought yuhwan back to the apartment. taichi left for a few minutes to go get something, i can’t really remember what, but while he was gone, geonwoong came out of his room and got into a really bad fight with yuhwan. it got kind of physical, and you know geonwoong, he’s strong but he’s just so small, so he got pretty beat up. then, taichi came back and found out about their fight. he sided with yuhwan and got so angry with geonwoong he went off and lived yuhwan instead—it upset geonwoong so much he pretty much cut all ties with taichi, but still insisted on contacting him here and there to check on him. and after that...everything went downhill.

yuhwan turned on taichi suddenly, becoming cold and distant, and taichi couldn’t figure out why. it stayed that way for about a month before it got even worse. yuhwan began to verbally abuse taichi—he started small, saying things like ‘you need me’ and ‘you couldn’t live without me’, before it developed into him straight up calling taichi ugly, worthless, stupid, unwanted, etc., etc. and the worst part was, taichi believed him.

then, he met jiwon and seonghwan hyungs, who found out about it all. they comforted taichi, convincing him that he wasn’t worthless and that he was beautiful and deserved so much better than what yuhwan was giving him. but taichi...taichi was really struggling, and he didn’t know what to think; he didn’t know who to believe. after that...it only got worse. yuhwan began hitting him. never hard, he would only ever slap him. it left no mark and thus, there was no evidence against him. then, geonwoong found out. taichi and geonwoong had still kept in touch, even after their fight, so when geonwoong found out everything that was happening he forced taichi to move back in with him. seonghwan and jiwon forbade taichi from ever seeing yuhwan again and they threatened yuhwan, forcing him to tell the truth and finally leave taichi alone. and....well, he did. he told taichi that he’d never loved him and that he meant nothing to him. he told the truth, and it broke taichi.

but geonwoong, jiwon and seonghwan never gave up on him and helped him get better. eventually, he met me and sungchan, and we helped as well.

you have nothing to worry about, taichi is better now, but you have to be sure to be careful with your words. the wrong move could set him off again, and if that happens, you’ll not only lose taichi but all of us as well. i love you, euijeong, we all do, but if you hurt taichi, we won’t anymore.” yeonhak explained.

euijeong’s eyes were wide, brain having a hard time processing all this new information. taichi...was abused? taichi had an abusive ex?

euijeong couldn’t believe it, how could anyone ever want to hurt someone like taichi? he was sweet and cute and pretty and beautiful and euijeong wanted to protect him forever.

but, well, taichi was perfect, and euijeong...not so much. his eyes were way too fucking small and he’d gained more weight than he’d liked to. he was awkward as fuck, and taichi would know that now after their first meeting. (euijeong tried his best not to think about it too much.)

“hey,” yeonhak said softly, “you’re thinking too much. i have full faith in you, hyung, you’re sweet and handsome and taichi’s lucky to have someone like you.”

but euijeong knew that wasn’t true. there was no way he could be trusted to care for someone like taichi—euijeong wasn’t like geonwoong or yeonhak. he wouldn’t know _how_ , he’d probably end up messing it all up again and hurting taichi even more. he didn’t couldn’t trust himself, so how could he ask taichi to? taichi is _happy_ now, just as he deserves, and euijeong is not going to take a chance in ruining it.

not now, not ever.

“no.” he said softly.

“no...what?” yeonhak asked.

“i’m not—i can’t. i can’t risk hurting him, i can’t trust myself not to. so...i’ll leave him be. someone like him will find someone else good for him quickly. i don’t want to get involved with him.” euijeong continued, voice soft.

“what? no...hyung, you—you’re _perfect_ for him, why-“

“i’m not.” euijeong interrupted firmly. “i’m not perfect for him, and i won’t ever be. he deserves so much more than i can give to him, and i’m not going to selfishly pretend i’m enough for him. he deserves someone who’s perfect, just like him, and...that person isn’t me.”

yeonhak stared at him with something akin to sadness and pity in his eyes, and euijeong couldn’t stand to see it.

“i—i need to take a walk. seonghwan’s in his room, if you want to see him. thank you for everything, yeonahk.” euijeong said quickly, standing up and rushing to the door.

and then he was gone.

 

-•-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go! that’s chapter three :)
> 
> the reason that i’m emphasizing geonwoong and taichi’s friendship so much is because if everything goes as planned while i’m writing, it will be very important later on. 
> 
> also i promise that next chapter will be mostly from euijeong’s point of view lmao im so sorry
> 
> anyways, hope y’all are enjoying, i love writing this :)))


	4. four

the next thursday was painfully awkward.

well, for euijeong, at least.

he had to explain the whole project they were doing to taichi but he couldn't bring himself to look taichi in the eyes, so he was just staring down at the table pretty much the whole time while talking.

if taichi didn't dislike him at this point, euijeong was convinced he never would.

taichi didn't seem to notice anything or mind though, he listened and even asked him a couple things—he's probably a good student. but after euijeong was done explaining, they fell into an awkward ass silence and euijeong could tell that taichi was beginning to get uncomfortable.

"so...you're also friends with yeonhak?" taichi asked politely, obviously trying to break the silence, but euijeong wasn't too grateful for it.

"oh, yeah, he's my coworker. we've worked at the convienience store a couple blocks from here together for a while."

"i didn't know you worked there! i guess i'll have to go there more often, then." taichi said, a bright, adorable smile set on his face and euijeong wanted to melt.

"yeah...i hope to see you." euijeong said awkwardly, ignoring the part of him that was saying _please don't_ repeatedly.

and then they were both silent again.

taichi began working and euijeong figured he should too, so they sat and worked in total silence. honestly, euijeong felt horrible, he didn't want taichi to think he disliked him or anything like that, but there really wasn't anything he could do. he couldn't risk getting too close to taichi because then the boy would figure everything out and euijeong didn't want to think about what would happen after that.

except after he sat staring down at his paper for five minutes, mind and paper completely blank, he accepted the fact that he was never going to get work done with taichi by him. but what was he supposed to do? work in the bathroom? he couldn't just flat out get up and leave taichi sitting here by himself. that would be a horrible thing to do and plus, it's a group project, so it'd be very counterproductive. maybe if he-

"euijeong-ssi," taichi suddenly said, voice soft, staring down at euijeong's hand, "you don't have a watch."

euijeong froze. "uh...yeah. i...i-i already met my soulmate! so...it's gone now." he quickly lied. well, it wasn't a _complete_ lie, considering yeah he did, but said soulmate was sitting directly in front of him, and he was _not_ about to tell taichi that.

"oh." taichi said, looking slightly dejected. "i see. congratulations."

"thanks...though, you don't have a watch either." euijeong said, without thinking, and immediately wanted to punch himself in the face.

"yeah...well, i met my soulmate last week, i think...i don't know who they are though. i was stupid and didn't pay any attention." he said sadly, staring down at the table.

and that confirmed it. taichi was definitely euijeong's soulmate, and he didn't know.

"oh...i'm sorry." euijeong said softly. "but i'm sure you'll find out who it was soon. after all, they are your soulmate, right? if you guys are meant to be together, you will be."

he found himself wincing at his own words. it was a blatant lie; they weren't meant to be together and they never will be because taichi was perfect and euijeong was not and it wasn't going to work.

"yeah, i guess you're right. thank you, euijeong-ssi."

"you can just call me hyung." euijeong said quickly. hearing taichi call him 'euijeong-ssi' made him feel old.

"ah, okay. well, then, thank you...hyung."

euijeong nodded and diverted his gaze back down to the table. he heard taichi sigh quietly and it made euijeong feel like shit but he knew he was doing his best. i mean, what was he supposed to do? he couldn't even _look_ at taichi without wanting to love and protect him forever so he couldn't risk anything. euijeong wasn't going to drag taichi down with him just because he had a stupid little crush.

so if taichi hated him, so be it. it was for the best.

 

-•-

 

when euijeong returned to his dorm after class, he could tell seonghwan knew everything.

the man was sitting on the couch, he'd obviously been waiting, and when he saw euijeong walk in, he looked him up and down once before he got this sad look in his eyes and motioned for euijeong to sit next to him.

but euijeong didn't want to talk right now, he was tired and he didn't even want to think about any of it, so he shook his head and walked off into his room before he flopped down on the bed, curled up into a ball, and closed his eyes.

he didn't expect seonghwan to leave him be—the older could be quite stubborn when he wanted to be—and sure enough, he heard seonghwan walk in his room a minute later.

euijeong curled into himself more and scooted closer to the wall on the other side of the bed, but seonghwan just got on the bed and crawled over to him before he laid down and rested his head on euijeong's side.

"yeonhak told me everything," he said softly, "and he said he was worried about you."

"that's nice of him." euijeong said, voice sounding empty and he wasn't sure why.

"do you...want me to tell taichi?" seonghwan asked, tone gentle.

"no."

"don't you think he deserves to know?"

"yes," euijeong said, "of course he does. but not if it's me. he deserves better than me."

seonghwan didn't respond, and euijeong felt him lift his head. for a second, euijeong thought he was actually going to leave, but he just shifted a little, curling around euijeong and nuzzling his face into the nape of his neck. seonghwan reached over euijeong's side and grabbed his hand, beginning to rub slow circles in his palm.

"you're more than good enough for him, jeongie. you're _perfect_ for him, i know you and i know taichi, and anybody else will say the same thing."

"but i'm not like geonwoong or yeonhak, i—i can't care for him the way he deserves to be cared for. i'd only end up hurting him again, and i can't risk that."

"that's not true and you know it, jeongie. you are _exactly_ like geonwoong and yeonhak, you care too much. you're too kind and too loving and in the end, the only one you ever end up hurting is yourself."

"exactly. i'm not enough."

seonghwan sighed. "jeongie," he said softly, "one day, thanks to taichi, you're going to look in the mirror and see what i see in yourself. and i know you don't believe me, and i know you won't believe me, but taichi is perfect for you; and i know you'll be together one day. i want you to trust me on that. can you do that?"

euijeong didn't respond.

seonghwan nuzzled against him again and continued to rub circles into his palm.

"don't lose faith in yourself. i promise everything'll be okay." seonghwan said softly, wrapping his hand around euijeong's and squeezing it before he pulled away and sat up.

"get some sleep, euijeong. we'll worry about this another day." he said, standing up and walking out before gently closing the door.

euijeong closed his eyes again.

_thank you, seonghwan._

 

-•-

 

"we've got to do something," seonghwan said. "we can't leave him like this. we can't leave either of them like this."

"well, _obviously_." yeonhak said, "but what can we do? we can't risk hurting either of them."

seonghwan groaned frustratedly and dropped his head down on the table. him, sungchan and yeonhak were in yeonhak and sungchan's dorm, trying to figure out the whole soulmate problem euijeong and taichi were currently having.

"can't you tell geonwoong? he could probably help." sungchan asked, looking over at yeonhak.

"um, _no_ , geonwoong would have my head if he found out i told euijeong everything."

"well, then...can't we like, set them up on a blind date or something?" sungchan suggested.

"no, that wouldn't work. euijeong would run the other way the second he saw taichi. he's...really insistent about keeping away from him." seonghwan responded.

yeonhak shook his head in disbelief. "the only reason the two of them can't get together is because they're too insecure about themselves. it's ridiculous. they're both literally the most perfect people i've met and they're _insecure_."

"oh, give them a break. they've both been through a lot." sungchan said. "and really, it would help a lot to talk to geonwoong. he knows taichi better than anyone, and seonghwan-hyung, you know euijeong better than anyone. y'all are the ones who should be having this conversation."

"well, yes, that's true, but _again_ , geonwoong will be angry. i wasn't supposed to tell euijeong." yeonhak said.

"who cares if geonwoong's angry for a while? he'll get over it." seonghwan responded.

"you clearly have never seen geonwoong angry before."

sungchan scoffed. "so? he's like five feet tall, what could he do?"

yeonhak laughed. "okay. well, you two are right, telling geonwoong _would_ help a lot. so why don't the both of you go on and talk to him? you can tell him that _you_ told euijeong everything and if you come back with all of your skin, you'll be right. okay?"

"okay good! we will." sungchan said, standing up and pulling seonghwan up as well.

"it's only geonwoong. what could go wrong?"

 

-•-

 

"YOU DID _WHAT?!"_ geonwoong yelled, once they'd told him.

"we...told euijeong. we figured it'd help him, and now we need your advice." seonghwan said.

geonwoong was very obviously very angry and he sighed frustratedly.

"hang on. i need to get something. i'll be right back." he said, rushing into his room.

he came back ten seconds later with an axe in his hand.

"what the fuck? where the hell did you get that?!" sungchan yelled.

"i was saving it for yuhwan, but i suppose i _should_ practice with it first. now, if you could just kindly tell me which one of you told euijeong, we can get things moving."

"it was him!" they both said at the same time, pointing to each other.

"oh, so both of you? good! now i have two targets." he said, raising the axe, and seonghwan and sungchan just about screamed.

 

-•-

 

wheh they got back, yeonhak was rolling on the floor laughing his ass off. "i told you to listen to me!"

"how the fuck were we supposed to know he'd go full on lumberjack murderer mode on us?!" sungchan demanded.

"well, i _told_ you he's protective, but you didn't listen to me!"

"yeah, well, i didn't think that meant he'd pull out a twenty pound axe!"

"alright, alright. calm down, you guys. we still have to figure something out. clearly telling geonwoong wasn't the right choice, so we're going to need another idea." seonghwan said.

"well...honestly, i don't think there's anything we _can_ do. not right now, at least." yeonhak said.

seonghwan nodded. "you might be right. i think that we should just let them handle it themselves for a bit, and if opportunity appears, then we can help."

"that's a good idea. i mean, love always wins, right? we should give them some space." sungchan said.

"so that settles it. we'll just watch them," yeonhak said, nodding. "and also, i'd avoid geonwoong for a bit."

"oh trust me, i wasn't planning on going anywhere near him anytime soon." seonghwan said, and yeonhak laughed.

 

-•-

 

euijeong was a little confused when geonwoong dragged him to a coffee shop, but then he remembered that _oh yeah, i know taichi's whole backstory now_ , and it made sense.

"so...now you know." geonwoong said when they'd sat down, and euijeong nodded. "but...who really told you? and why?"

"yeonhak told me." euijeong said softly. he heard geonwoong mutter something under his breath, (something that sounded suspisciously like "dammit now i won't get to chop off those two assholes' heads") before he sighed.

"i suppose you _did_ deserve to know eventually. after all, you do know taichi now. but why did yeonhak tell you?"

euijeong stared down at his hands and took a deep breath. "well...here, look." he pulled up his sleeve and held out wrist to geonwoong.

"what?" he asked.

"i don't have a watch anymore, geonwoong. and it's because i already met my soulmate."

geonwoong looked confused. "what does that have to do with taichi?"

euijeong rolled his eyes. "you're an idiot. taichi's my _soulmate_ , geonwoong."

geonwoong's eyes widened. " _what_? really?"

euijeong nodded. "yes, and i'm sure of it. but...i don't want him to know."

"why not? it's great that you're his soulmate, hyung, i honestly couldn't have imagined someone better."

euijeong smiled sadly. "maybe so, but...i'm not right for taichi. he doesn't know, so it's clear that we're not meant to be. he's sweet and he's pretty and he's too good for someone like me. so...i'll just keep my distance."

geonwoong scoffed. "have you _looked_ in a mirror? you're just as pretty as taichi. plus, you're one of the sweetest people i've met. you're perfect for him, hyung."

"i'm not. he dislikes me already, anyway."

"no, he doesn't dislike you. he thinks you hate him, and it's upsetting him."

euijeong looked down, feeling a harsh stab of guilt in his chest. "i hadn't meant to...make him think that, i just wanted to keep him away from me. where he'd be safer."

geonwoong was quiet for a couple minutes.

"euijeong-hyung," he said softly, "is there something you haven't told me? something i should know?"

"no." euijeong responded.

"i know you're lying." geonwoong said, "you're just like taichi in that way—you're a horrible liar. i can see why you two are soulmates."

"i'm not lying." euijeong insisted.

geonwoong rolled his eyes. "oh well, i'll just ask seonghwan-hyung. anyway, i won't tell taichi that you're his soulmate, but only if you promise me you'll at least give him a chance later. can you promise me that?"

euijeong hesitated, but soon nodded in agreement. "okay. i promise." he said.

"well, come on, we'd better get going. taichi's probably angry i left him." geonwoong said, standing up.

"yeah," euijeong said, "seonghwan's probably wondering where i am, too, after you kidnapped me."

"oh come on, i did _not_."

"yeah you did. and next time, at least let me grab a coat."

"sure thing, _princess_."

"i'm your hyung, show me some respect."

"i think the phrase you're looking for is 'respect your elderly'."

" _one more word_ , i swear to god you little-"

"okay, okay, i'm sorry, jeez!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooOOooo euijeong’s got a secret
> 
> also i added some crack in there for yall because once we get into the angst there wont be none huhuhu
> 
> hope yall enjoyed :)
> 
> thanks for reading loves <3


	5. five

euijeong is certain the universe is out to get him.

him and yeonhak had just been peacefully working, they had been doing a little restocking of shelves in the little convience store they work in, and guess who walks in?

 _taichi_.

well, and jiwon, but still. _taichi_.

yeonhak warned him (while also laughing) and then euijeong was on the ground crawling into a back room faster than the speed of light.

taichi hadn't seen him (he thinks), but yeonhak did, obviously, and so he's sitting in this tiny storage closet for the cleaning supplies praying to korean jesus that yeonhak doesn't rat him out.

he heard yeonhak continue to laugh as he picked up the things euijeong had thrown all over in his frenzy. taichi and jiwon said hi to him and then proceeded to help yeonhak pick everything up—euijeong's guessing, based off what he's hearing—and euijeong begins to feel bad.

he doesn't have time for that, however, after yeonhak suddenly calls, "euijeong-hyung, have you got the mop yet?"

 _fuck_.

"uh—yeah! it was stuck, i'm coming!" he called back, swearing to himself he'd smack yeonhak later as he quickly grabbed the mop and walked out of the closet.

unfortunately, yeonhak and euijeong had happened to be restocking the beverages in the fridge, and apparently a few bottles had exploded when euijeong rushed away.

he grabbed the water bucket and dragged it over to the mess he'd made.

"hey." he said awkwardly, nodding to jiwon and taichi before turning away and beginning to clean up the mess on the floor.

he heard yeonhak snicker at him when jiwon and taichi had walked away to buy whatever they'd come for, and he glared at yeonhak before splashing water up at him.

"you are _so_ dead, you little-." euijeong whispered angrily, glaring at yeonhak.

"i'm just trying to help!" yeonhak claimed, giggling.

euijeong glared at him again and yeonhak put his hands up in surrender, still giggling, before he turned and went to go clean up stuff at the counter.

"i don't _wanna_ talk to taichi." euijeong muttered childishly, pouting and sulkishly mopping up the puddle on the floor. he nearly slipped once, which would have been very bad, but he somehow managed to stay upright and continue mopping like nothing happened. though, he'd let out an embarrassing squeak, which he very much hoped taichi hadn't heard.

when he had almost finished, he heard a giggle from somewhere else and looked up.

"-literally only _one cenimeter_ shorter than you, i'll be able to reach it just fine-" jiwon was saying, glaring at taichi who was holding something high above his head.

"then why don't you?" taichi said, letting out a little giggle, and euijeong wanted to melt and merge with the puddle already on the floor.

"because i'll have to jump, you meanie, and then you'll jump too, and then you'll laugh at me, and _i am your hyung_ , give me back my phone-"

"no, you have to get it!" taichi said, sticking out his tongue, and euijeong was sure he'd spontaneously combust.

"fine! i'm not buying you anything, then. get it yourself." jiwon huffed, turning and walking away.

"noooo, hyung i'm sorry, i don't wanna pay!" taichi whined, pouting, and euijeong found himself chuckling fondly.

"you're staring creepily." a voice said, and euijeong just about jumped out of his skin.

"jesus—when the hell did you get over here?" he said, turning to yeonhak.

yeonhak rolled his eyes. "just now. and if you hadn't been stalkishly staring at the two of them, you'd have noticed."

"oh come on, i was just _looking_. it wasn't staring."

"really? you're trying to tell me you _weren't_ staring at taichi like he hung all the stars in the sky?"

"that's precisely what i'm saying." euijeong said stubbornly.

yeonhak rolled his eyes. "whatever you say, hyung. but i really think you should try talking to him."

"you already know that i can't do that, and-"

"hyung," yeonhak cut him off softly, "the only one stopping you is yourself. you really should give it a chance, alright? have some faith in yourself."

and before euijeong could respond, yeonhak had walked away.

euijeong stared at the ground for a little bit before he finished mopping up the mess he'd made on the floor. he picked up the bucket and carried the broom and bucket back into the storage closet, locked them in, and turned to return to his work of restocking. he placed the bottles in the fridge and went on to refill some random snacks that people apparently really enjoyed, because they sold fast. by the time he'd finished, taichi and jiwon had already bought their stuff and were about to leave. 

when he was about to go place the little storage rack he had back into the back room, he heard footsteps behind him and turned to see taichi.

"hi." taichi said quietly, smiling softly.

"oh, hey taichi."

"i came here to see you, you know." taichi said, and euijeong felt his face heat up.

"really? thanks, taichi. that's sweet of you. you didn't have to, though." he said, voice surprisingly stable. he didn't know why he was so calm all the sudden. just ten minutes ago he was freaking out and now he's perfectly fine.

"i know. but i wanted to apologize for not texting or calling you—i kind of forgot." taichi said, chuckling awkwardly.

"oh, it's fine! don't worry about it. you didn't have to if you didn't want to."

"well, i know. but i just felt bad because you really helped me a lot that day and i never got the chance to thank you properly. so thank you, euijeong-hyung."

euijeong smiled. "don't worry about it. i know that you would've done the exact same thing. i'm just glad that i was there to help you—you were pretty sick and it would've been bad if you were on your own the whole time."

taichi stared at him for a bit before he smiled as well. "thank you, hyung. you're actually one of the nicest people i've met, and i barely even know you. i don't know how you do it." he said, and euijeong swears taichi's face turned even the slightest shade of pink. "w-well...i should get going now. jiwon-hyung's going to be mad i'm taking so long. thank you again, hyung. i'll text you tomorrow!" he said quickly, turning and rushing off, obviously flustered. when he reached the door, he turned and waved at euijeong, and euijeong chuckled fondly and waved back.

he heard taichi say, "alright, hyung, i'm coming!" and then he was gone.

euijeong stared at the door for a while, thinking. then, he turned and looked at his reflection in the glass door of the beverage fridge.

he still was a little heavier than he'd like to be, his eyes were still small as fuck, and his hair looked gross.

but yet, for once, he didn't immediately turn away in disgust.

he just stared, and it was only later that night while he was laying in bed, long after he went home, that he realized he wasn't only seeing his own image of himself. he was also seeing what yeonhak and seonghwan and geonwoong all saw in him, and it made him wonder about a lot of things, made him ask himself many questions he knew he'd never have an answer for.

 _huh_. he thought, _maybe i'm not as terrible as i think i am, after all._

 

-•-

 

the next time taichi saw euijeong after he ran into him at the convenience store, (it was a _coincidence_ , goddamnit, fuck jiwon), happened to be in the school's laundry room. geonwoong was being annoying and refused to do the laundy, so taichi had to do it.

and apparently, euijeong was in the same boat.

"oh, hi taichi." euijeong had said when he walked in.

"hey, hyung. i didn't know you were in this building too." taichi said.

"really? i thought i'd told you. must've forgot. but i room with seonghwan on the third floor." euijeong responded, placing the basket he had on top of a dryer. "and he's being a little shit, and so now i've got to do this for him."

taichi laughed. "same for me. i don't know what kind of a stick geonwoong's got up his ass but he's been moody all day."

"yeah, he was like that when i talked to him the other day, too." euijeong said, beginning to put his clothes in one of the machines.

"oh yeah, i was meaning to ask you about that. geonwoong wouldn't tell me what you guys were talking about and so i was hoping you would." taichi said, and euijeong froze.

"uh...nothing." euijeong said.

"oh come _on_ , why won't either of you tell me?" taichi whined, stomping his foot.

aegyo always works to get what he wants.

but euijeong wouldn't meet his eyes.

"why do you want to know so bad? i promise it's not anything important." euijeong said.

"well, if it's not anything important then why can't you tell me?" taichi pressed.

"because i don't need to," euijeong said, leaning forward to poke taichi's nose. "you'll survive if you never find out."

he turned away to place the rest of the clothes in the washer and taichi reached up to touch where euijeong had poked on his nose. it made him feel giddy, and it felt like his heart did a little gymnastics flip. and it was ridiculous, considering literally all euijeong did was poke his goddamn nose, but taichi couldn't find it in him to care. he didn't know why he felt so weird whenever he was around euijeong, but he knew that he didn't quite mind.

"you okay?" euijeong's voice cut into his thoughts, and taichi nodded.

"just thinking."

"what about?"

"you'll survive if you never find out." taichi said, mimicking euijeong's voice.

"oh come on, i don't sound like _that_." euijeong laughed.

"yes you do! that's exactly what you sound like." taichi said, laughing as well.

"why does everybody make fun of me? i'm older than you, you brat!" euijeong said, and taichi laughed more.

"well, i'm from japan! so it doesn't count."

"that's not how it works—!"

"too bad, it is now!" taichi said, sticking out his tongue.

euijeong chuckled and shook his head. "i can't win against you, can i?"

"no. but you can try." taichi said, and euijeong smiled. "you're lucky you're cute." he said, and taichi's face flushed.

"what? have you never been called cute before? i highly doubt it." euijeong teased, and taichi's face flushed a darker shade of red.

"w-well...you're lucky you're pretty!" taichi said.

"pretty—? why does everybody call me pretty? i'm really not, i don't understand-" euijeong began.

" _oh_ , no you don't. you are beautiful, and if you don't think so, clearly your mirror is broken. i don't want to hear you blab on about how you're "not pretty" because that's a lie and lying is a sin." taichi said, cutting euijeong off.

euijeong suddenly seemed so small as he stared at taichi. "really...?" he asked softly, and it made taichi sad. he could see the same sort of small, vulnurable insecurity in euijeong's eyes that he could sometimes see in his own.

"really." taichi affirmed, smiling reassuringly.

euijeong continued to stare at him before he quickly looked down, but taichi could see a small, grateful smile on his face.

"thanks, taichi."

 

-•-

 

euijeong is ready to go home.

it's currently 10:00 PM but euijeong's stuck at work, because the dude who was supposed to have this shift fell "sick" and so euijeong had to fill in for him.

but euijeong's tired and he just wants to sleep, he's got an early class tomorrow and he can't miss it. nobody ever comes in at this time anyway, so euijeong should be able to just close the store and go home. his boss isn't there anyway.

as he sat in a chair behind the counter wanting to just fall asleep and be done with life in general, the bell on the door rang and somebody walked in. euijeong looked up to see a dude probably about his age walk in. he groaned internally—he really didn't want to get up—but got up to stand at the register. he figured it would be kind of strange to just stare at the poor guy the whole time so euijeong grabbed a rag and began to wipe down the counter.

after a few minutes, the guy grabbed a random drink from the fridge and a bag of chips and came over to pay.

euijeong nodded politely and scanned the items.

"are you a college student?" the guy suddenly asked, and euijeong was surprised but nodded.

"good. i was wondering if you knew somebody named taichi." the guy said.

euijeong stopped and looked at him in surprise. _okay, something's off._ first of all, the guy was shady as fuck—he was dressed in all black and the way he was speaking was weird; he sounded cocky but at the same time cold. the way he was talking made it seem like he somehow knew euijeong and knew something euijeong didn't. but even if that was all just euijeong being paranoid, what were the chances that this guy, looking for taichi, just happened to stumble upon euijeong, who's close (?) to him?

something wasn't right.

"yeah, i know him." euijeong said, eyeing the dude suspiscously.

"oh, good. can you tell him that i'd like to see him?"

"oh, sure." _never in a million years, you suspiscous piece of-_ "what's your name?" euijeong asked.

the guy didn't respond at first, and that pretty much confirmed to euijeong that this dude was _not_ to be trusted. he handed euijeong the money to pay for the items and grabbed them.

"yuhwan." he said, voice cold and eyes unreadable. "kim yuhwan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh damn shits going down


	6. six

_"yuhwan." he said, voice cold and eyes unreadable. "kim yuhwan."_

euijeong froze.

he couldn't say anything as yuhwan walked out the door or for minutes afterwards.

that was _him_.

the asshole who abused and broke taichi, who made him fear being loved and fear loving in return.

that was the good for nothing piece of _shit_ that broke taichi, hurt geonwoong, and nearly ripped everybody's friendship apart at the seams.

that was the asshole everyone hated, and euijeong could see why.

"what do i do?" euijeong said aloud, sitting back down in his chair.

he buried his face in his hands and considered his options. theoretically, the right thing to do would be to tell taichi that he saw yuhwan. but that could be bad because for one, taichi would be upset and afraid and euijeong didn't want to cause that, and for two, taichi doesn't know that euijeong knows everything. that could upset taichi too, because he might not have wanted euijeong to know. but this is something that's important in taichi's life—yuhwan was an important person in his life for a while and he probably still is. if somebody like yuhwan is deciding to just throw himself back into taichi's life, taichi deserves to know.

but euijeong doesn't want to hurt taichi, and he doesn't want to scare him. maybe yuhwan doesn't know where taichi is, and that's why he asked euijeong. maybe if euijeong doesn't tell taichi, it'll all pass like nothing happened and taichi will be fine. but if it's not, and yuhwan does get to taichi, then who knows what could happen? and taichi wouldn't be able to prepare at all because he wouldn't know.

euijeong groaned. every possible outcome depended on a whole bunch of 'what-ifs' and 'maybe's and no matter what decision he made, it could end up badly.

 _i'm not going to tell him_. euijeong decided, _this is a chance i'll have to take. if he hates me for it, so be it. this is the only way i can truly protect him._

_i just hope it works._

 

-•-

 

"do you think i'm making the right choice? i just don't know what to do." euijeong asked jiwon later that day. he'd dragged the older boy to the same coffee shop geonwoong had dragged him to just last week and practically begged jiwon to help him.

jiwon sighed. "i can't believe the asshole actually worked up the nerve to come back. if he goes anywhere _near_ geonwoong or taichi and i swear to god i'll rip his face off."

"and that's wonderful and all but what do i do? should i tell taichi?" euijeong asked.

"honestly, euijeong, i don't know. taichi's been doing really well, and...i don't want to know what will happen if he finds out." jiwon said.

"right, but if i don't tell him and yuhwan does get to him, then...that could be worse. if i tell him, he'll at least be able to prepare or something."

jiwon chuckled and shook his head. "how the hell did you manage to get yourself into this mess? you've literally known taichi for what, a month? if that?"

"honestly, i have no clue." euijeong said, chuckling as well. "but i'm in it now and i don't want to be the one to ruin everything."

jiwon nodded. "well, if you want my honest opinion, i wouldn't tell him. that's what i'd do. but it's your choice, and whatever you think is best, you should do it."

"i don't feel like i have the right to make this decision, though. maybe—maybe i'll ask geonwoong, and geonwoong can do it. i barely know taichi, and i didn't know about the whole yuhwan thing. i didn't even know any of you until the start of this year and i didn't know taichi until like, three weeks ago. i shouldn't be trusted to have this choice." euijeong said.

"that may be true, but you're taichi's soulmate, euijeong-ah. you're going to be very important in taichi's life; you are right now. this is a decision you need to make, because it's vital to your relationship." jiwon said. "but i want you to know that no matter what happens, i'll be with you, okay? me and seonghwan both. if a day comes where everybody doubts you, just know that i'll be with you. alright?"

euijeong nodded and took a deep breath. "okay. thank you so much, hyung."

"of course. don't worry, euijeong, you'll always have me."

 

-•-

 

for the next couple days, euijeong was extremely jumpy. he was always on edge and afraid that yuhwan would show up again, or that somehow taichi will have found out and hate euijeong forever. every day, euijeong doubted his decision more and more, thinking that he should just tell taichi and then he made a stupid choice. but then, another part of him will say that telling taichi will hurt him and euijeong doesn't want to hurt taichi. he was having a constant argument with himself in his head and he wanted everything to just pass over and go back to normal.

i mean, for god's sake, euijeong doesn't even _know_ yuhhwan but he's terrified of the asshole; he can't even imagine how taichi must've felt dating and living with that _monster_ day in and day out. euijeong shuddered at the mere thought of it.

it got so bad to the point where any time somebody would _touch_ him he'd jump. and it was ridiculous, considering literally the only thing yuhwan did was talk to him; hell, they barely made eye contact. euijeong has literally no reason to be so jumpy and skittish but he is anyway, and he can't even understand why.

he could tell that seonghwan was beginning to get suspiscous, because euijeong would jump anytime seonghwan touched him. euijeong had grown completely accustomed to how clingy and touchy seonghwan could be, so he knew that the fact that he was suddenly jumping all the time was suspiscous.

but he couldn't help it.

and he knew seonghwan would ask him about it at some point, so he began to try and subtly avoid seonghwan. staying out at work longer, staying after classes longer, studying in the library longer, working out longer; you name it, anything to shorten the amount of time he saw or ran into seonghwan.

  
of course, euijeong knew that it wouldn't work forever, and that seoghwan would approach him at some point.

so when he did, euijeong was prepared. (well, kind of. actually, not at all.)

euijeong had just gotten back from an early shift at work and was peacefully making food for himself when seonghwan popped out of nowhere and did a weird squeezy-back hug thing to euijeong and euijeong yelped, unconsciously jerked back, and elbowed seonghwan right in the ribs.

"ow...why'd you do that?" seonghwan grumbled, rubbing side.

"well, i'm sorry, but don't just jump on people like that! what'd you expect was going to happen?"

"i expected for you to react like you normally do! you've been jumpy lately for no reason _and_ you've been avoiding me! did i do something wrong? are you mad at me?"

euijeong sighed. "no...i'm not mad at you. it's nothing you did, i promise."

"really? then explain to me why you're avoiding me so much."

"because i knew you were suspiscous and didn't want you to ask about anything. so i kept away from you."

seonghwan looked small, all the sudden.

"do you not trust me, euijeong?" he asked softly. "i—i thought...i guess i thought you did."

"no, no, seonghwan, of course i trust you. i just-"

"then why won't you tell me whatever's going on? i'm worried about you."

euijeong sighed. "i'm sorry i haven't been telling you everything that's going on. it's just...i don't know what to do, and i don't think it's something you want to know."

"if it's bothering you so much, you should tell me. i can help you." seonghwan said. "please?"

euijeong sighed and gave in. that‘s the one bad thing about seonghwan—it’s impossible to say no to him.

“i ran into yuhwan a couple days ago, and i...i don’t know what to do.” euijeong said softly.

seonghwan’s eyes widened. “ _yuhwan?_ where did you see him?!”

“at work. he—he came in when i was doing a late shift and he asked me to tell taichi that he wanted to see him. i don’t know what to _do_ , seonghwan, i...should i tell taichi? would it be best if he knows?”

seonghwan ran a hand through his hair. “god, i can’t believe he’s back...the asshole has no fucking right, not after what he did to geonwoong and _especially_ not after everything he did to taichi. i...i honestly don’t know what you should do, euijeong-ah.”

“jiwon-hyung told me that i shouldn’t tell taichi, so i haven’t yet. but i’m starting to get worried—what if i’ve made the wrong choice?”

seonghwan sighed. “honestly, this was a hard choice for you to make. and i’m sorry that it had to be you. and if something happens...i don’t think you’ll have to worry. i think taichi will understand.”

euijeong looked down. “well, i don’t care about _that_ , i just...i just want to do whatever’s best for taichi. i want to keep him safe.”

seonghwan took a couple steps forward and pulled euijeong into a hug. “i’m sorry you have to go through this. i think taichi’ll be okay, i don’t think you need to worry too much. just know that no matter what happens, i’m with you, okay? i think you’ve made the right choice, euijeong. i think it’ll be okay.”

euijeong nodded. “i hope you’re right, seonghwan.” he said softly.

except little had he known that he was wrong, and he’d made a bad, bad choice.

 

-•-

 

geonwoong had just been walking home when it happened. he’d had a late class and it was about six in the afternoon. taichi was at work, so geonwoong would be alone for a while. which was fine, he could probably find somebody to drag over and keep him company.

while he’d been considering who to annoy for the next four hours, somebody called out to him and stopped him.

“oh hey, geonwoong. i haven’t seen you in a while.” the person said.

geonwoong felt his blood run cold. he knows that voice. he’ll never forget it. he froze in his spot and turned around slowly, to confirm his fear.

 _yuhwan_.

“what the fuck are you doing here?” he demanded, trying to keep as calm as possible. it wasn’t like he was genuinely afraid of yuhwan, but something about him—no, _everything_ about him put geonwoong on edge.

“what? am i not allowed to visit a couple of old friends?” yuhwan asked innocently, even though he was far from it. he took a couple steps closer to geonwoong and geonwoong stepped back. they were only about ten yards apart and geonwoong was becoming intimidated.

“stay away from me.” he snarled, taking a few more steps back, but yuhwan just stepped forward again.

“oh come now, don’t be like that. we’ve known each other for years! we’re practically friends.”

“i still have the fucking scar on my lip from when _you_ split it open. you’re insane to think we’d ever be friends.”

“and who started that fight?”

“ _you._ all i did was yell at you, and then you punched me in the face.”

yuhwan rolled his eyes. “you’re dramatizing it. but i don’t care, i’m not here for you. i want to see taichi, do you know where i could find him?”

“as if i’d ever tell _you_. you stay the fuck away from him.” geonwoong growled.

“i have a right to see him. we were dating, and i’d like to see how he’s doing.”

geonwoong scoffed. “he’s doing wonderful because _you’re_ out of his life. you did nothing but hurt him and you have no right to see him. who the fuck cares if you dated? you’re not his soulmate. you’re not important.”

“really? the soulmate thing? who cares about soulmates? they don’t matter.” yuhwan said, slowly taking more steps forward. “oh yeah, i’m sorry, they _do_ matter—to you. but wait! if i remember correctly, you don’t have one.”

geonwoong froze, and by the ugly smirk that appeared on yuhwan’s face, he could tell yuhwan knew he’d hit geonwoong right where he was weakest.

“nobody’s ever going to love poor, little geonwoong. nobody does. you’re so annoying and pathetic they couldn’t find one person on this whole planet who’d be willing to put up with you, you worthless piece of shit.” yuhwan said, voice ice cold. he kept stepping closer to geonwoong but geonwoong didn’t step back, it felt like he couldn’t move. “you claim that i’m so horrible and awful and that i shouldn’t be allowed to be anywhere near taichi, but even _i_ have a soulmate, you little shit.” he said, and lifted up his sleeve to reveal a watch. “i have a soulmate, and it means somebody’s going to love me, no matter how terrible you claim i am. but nobody’s ever going to love _you_. you’re worthless and pathetic and yet you insist on staying next to taichi. you aren’t good enough for him, you aren’t good enough for any of them. why do you even try? taichi would be much better without you.”

yuhwan still had that ugly smirk on his face as he gave geonwoong a chance to say something but geonwoong didn’t, geonwoong _couldn’t_. he couldn’t move as yuhwan stepped closer until they were a mere foot apart and he couldn’t even think of something to say because he knew yuhwan was right; he didn’t deserve to be with taichi, he didn’t deserve to be with anyone because he was annoying and pathetic and nobody is ever going to love him.

“you’re nothing but trash,” yuhwan said softly, voice full of venom as he leaned down to be at eye level with geonwoong. “don’t pretend like you’re anything more than that.”

yuhwan straightened back up and looked down at him once more, a look of pure disgust on his features before he turned and walked away.

geonwoong watched him go, unable to say anything, unable to move. then he began to tremble, and before he knew what was happening there were tears blurring his vision and streaming down his face.

he laughed dryly through his tears when he realized that he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d actually cried.

so he just stood in the middle of the sidewalk, crying, drowning in his insecurities and his faults and his mistakes, wishing he was better, wishing he was worth more.

and five minutes later, when he finally began a slow walk back to the dorm building, tears still streaming down his face, he realized that yuhwan had successfully done exactly what he’d come to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor geonwoong :(
> 
> yuhwan’s an asshole i know
> 
> and oh no, did euijeong really make the wrong choice? who knows, yall gotta wait nd see ;)


	7. seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall i wrote this while listening to still with you by up10tion and its a good song check it out :)

when taichi got home that night, he knew something was wrong immediately.

geonwoong always made sure to respond to taichi whenever he came back. why? taichi doesn't know, but he always did. so the fact that geonwoong was definitely in the dorm and not responding to him was incredibly suspiscous.

"hyung?" taichi called, kicking off his shoes, "are you alright?"

still no response.

yeah, okay, now taichi was worried.

he walked around dorm, looking in each room before he realized that geonwoong was in the shower; which also was raised a red flag for taichi because geonwoong never took showers at night. he hated it and always refused to.

taichi knocked on the door. "hyung, are you okay?" he asked.

_still no response._

"i'm going to unlock the door if you don't answer me." he said, but geonwoong still didn't answer.

taichi pretty much ran to go get the key they had in a cabinet in the kitchen. the key worked on every room in the dorm but neither of them ever used it except for emergencies. and, well, taichi was considering this an emergency.

he unlocked the door after a few fumbly tries and opened the door slowly, peeking in.

their shower had glass doors, not completely clear, but clear enough to where you could see in it. geonwoong was sitting on the ground of the shower, under the water, with his clothes on.

taichi slowly pushed open the shower door, but geonwoong didn't move. he had his knees pulled up to chest and his face buried in his knees. taichi knew he at least wasn't dead because he was shivering, and when taichi reached out to feel the water it was ice cold.

taichi quickly reached over and turned off the water before he threw his phone on the sink, grabbed a towel, and got in next to geonwoong. he placed a hand on geonwoong's shoulder but the older boy flinched away.

"hyung, come on, look at me please." taichi pleaded, and geonwoong made a weak little noise before he finally lifted his head.

he looked horrible—his face was red and his eyes were puffy and he was crying. taichi realized that he hadn't been shivering earlier, he'd been trembling, and he still was. taichi quickly wrapped his arms around him and hugged him against his side.

"god, hyung, what happened?" taichi asked worriedly, pulling back to wrap the towel around geonwoong before he pulled him against his side again. geonwoong didn't respond, and taichi rested his head on top of the older's and rubbed his shoulder.

taichi has no idea what to do, he's never seen geonwoong cry before. not _once_. he'd brought geonwoong back from seonghwan's dorm one afternoon when he'd supposedly showed up to seonghwan's door at 2AM bawling his eyes out, but by the time taichi got him, geonwoong was fine. he has no idea how to comfort geonwoong because he's never had to before and he doesn't know what is actually comforting to him.

taichi feels like shit for not being able to do anything, and he _really_ doesn't want to just pass him on to someone else, but he's going to have to because he has no idea what to do.

"i'll be right back, okay?" taichi murmured, pressing a kiss to his hair before moving to get up. before he could get anywhere, though, geonwoong grabbed his arm and looked up at him with pleading eyes. "don't go." he said softly, and it broke taichi's heart.

"i'm just getting my phone, okay? it's on the sink." he said gently, and geonwoong continued to stare up at him before he nodded sadly and let taichi's arm go.

taichi grabbed his phone and was back next to geonwoong in probably three seconds.

he shifted next to the boy and pulled him over so he was sitting between taichi's legs, leaning to the side against his chest, and burying his face in the crook of taichi's neck. he still had his legs pulled up to his chest so he fit nicely.

he rubbed geonwoong's shoulder comfortingly before he picked up his phone.

 _shit, who do i call?_ taichi thought, staring at his contacts. the logical choice would be yeonhak, since geonwoong and yeonhak were closest, but taichi doesn't think geonwoong would want that.

he scrolled through his contacts quickly and stopped abruptly on a name.

euijeong.

taichi'd put euijeong's number in his phone the night that he'd gone to see him at his work from the index card euijeong had given him.

he had never worked up the nerve to actually contact him, though. he just favorited euijeong's number and swore to himself he'd contact him later. this wasn't the best situation for his first call to euijeong but as he hugged a trembling geonwoong closer to his chest he couldn't find it in himself to care. he realized that euijeong and seonghwan had been the ones to comfort geonwoong last time, even if taichi hadn't known euijeong at that time, so euijeong was the best choice.

"i'm going to call euijeong-hyung and bring him over here to help you, is that okay?" taichi asked softly, and when he felt geonwoong nod he pressed call.

_"hello?"_

"euijeong-hyung, it's taichi. i need you to come over right now."

_"come over? why? is something wrong?"_

"yeah, it's—it's geonwoong-hyung, he's...really upset and he won't tell me what's wrong. i don't know what to do."

_"okay, i'm coming. is your door open?"_

"yeah, it's open. we're in the bathroom. please hurry." taichi pleaded, continuing to rub geonwoong's arm comfortingly.

_"i'll be there in a minute or two. tell him to hang tight, okay?"_

"thank you, hyung." taichi said before euijeong hung up.

"euijeong's coming here, okay? you'll be alright." taichi said softly, throwing his phone onto the rug outside of the shower before he wrapped both arms around geonwoong and hugged him closer.

as taichi waited, he had time to wonder whatever the fuck had happened to geonwoong. nothing really ever fazed him too much and he usually always made sure to keep his emotions in check. it was also usually pretty difficult to tell if geonwoong was having a hard time because he's extremely hard to read and you can't really ever tell what he's thinking.

so whatever it is that's happened, it must be really, really bad.

_i just hope he'll be okay._

-•-

after the call with taichi, euijeong pretty much threw on some shoes and was out his door in less than a minute. euijeong could tell that taichi was really worried and that something was really wrong with geonwoong because he sounded so scared, and euijeong didn't like that.

he was a little confused at first as to why taichi'd called him, but then he remembered the time that geonwoong had shown up at their door sobbing at 2AM after he had a really bad fight with yeonhak, and euijeong and seonghwan had comforted him. geonwoong only ever cried when he had a whole bunch of shit piled up on him and something would finally crack him, causing him to break down. he's got a horrible habit of bottling up and hiding his feelings, and in turn, a lot of times, it hurts him a lot.

and euijeong didn't want that for geonwoong or taichi, so he essentially ran down to the first floor where their dorm was, not bothering to take the elevator because it'd be too slow. he was opening the door to their dorm and walking in, calling out "taichi? i'm here" in under three minutes.

"hyung, we're in here," taichi called back, and euijeong followed the sound of his voice to find himself in the bathroom. the two of them were on the floor of the shower and taichi was hugging geonwoong against his chest. euijeong felt a pang of jealously in his chest but ignored it because it was horrible to be jealous of geonwoong while he was in such a state.

taichi motioned for him to come over and euijeong snapped out of his thoughts and got into the shower, kneeling down in front of them.

"geonwoong-ah, can you look at me?" euijeong asked softly, tone gentle, and geonwoong lifted his head and looked at euijeong. he looked so upset and it hurt euijeong's heart. "poor baby, what happened?" he cooed, knowing pet names always made him feel better. he gently petted geonwoong's hair, and geonwoong wriggled away from taichi and scooted over to euijeong. taichi looked away and wouldn't meet euijeong's eyes.

"come on, let's get you changed. you're all wet and you'll get sick." euijeong said, helping geonwoong stand up and pulling him against his side.

when he looked back at taichi, though, he realized that taichi hadn't moved. "are you coming, taichi?" euijeong asked softly.

"yeah, i'm coming. you can go ahead." taichi responded, and when he finally looked up to meet euijeong's eyes, euijeong could see a bit of...jealousy?

 _he's probably mad that geonwoong was so quick to come to me._ euijeong thought, and shrugged it off.

he walked geonwoong into his room and sat him down on the bed. he was about to turn away to grab him some new clothes when geonwoong made a small little squeaky noise in protest and made little grabby hands at him.

euijeong rolled his eyes fondly. "oh calm down, you baby, i'm just grabbing you some clothes." he said, patting geonwoong's head before he grabbed him a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie and handed them to geonwoong.

geonwoong took them with a quiet "thank you" before he moved to put them on.

"baby, you have to take your wet clothes off." euijeong said, and geonwoong pouted.

"well then, turn around." geonwoong said, glaring at euijeong.

euijeong put his hands up in surrender and turned around, allowing geonwoong to change.

after what felt like ages, geonwoong finally finished changing and told euijeong he could turn back around; so euijeong went over, sat next to him on the bed, and pulled his head to his shoulder.

"are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked, but geonwoong shook his head. "i can't."

"why not?"

"because i don't want taichi to know." geonwoong mumbled, voice quiet, and euijeong froze.

oh, oh _no_.

euijeong himself had said those exact words after he'd met yuhwan, and that could only mean one thing: yuhwan must've talked to geonwoong. it would make perfect sense—yuhwan sounds like he's somebody who could set geonwoong off like that.

_oh god._

what has euijeong _done?_ he made the completely wrong choice, and now geonwoong was hurt because of it.

the guilt smashed into him like a ton of bricks and he wanted to shoot himself in the head for being such an idiot.

"it was yuhwan, wasn't it?" euijeong said, voice extremely quiet and he felt geonwoong tense.

"how did you know?" geonwoong asked softly, pulling back to look at euijeong, eyes wide in surprise.

euijeong looked down guiltily. "i...he came in to the store one night while i was working. i didn't know who he was at first, and he asked me if i could tell taichi that he wanted to see him. he said that he was yuhwan, and then...walked out. i had no idea what to do, i thought maybe i should tell taichi but i didn't want to scare him, and so i asked jiwon and seonghwan and they both said i shouldn't tell him. so—so i didn't, but then the worst ended up happening and yuhwan talked to you." he said, voice shaking slightly.

geonwoong stared at him for a couple seconds before he nodded slowly and looked down. "i understand. i wish that maybe you'd told me, but i could understand why you wouldn't." he said quietly, and for some reason it made euijeong feel worse.

"geonwoong-ah," he said softly, swallowing down a lump in his throat, "what did yuhwan say to you?"

geonwoong winced. "nothing."

"it wasn't nothing if you broke down in tears and worried the fuck out of taichi. please, don't do this. tell me what he said to you." euijeong pressed, and geonwoong sighed and looked down.

"well, basically he told me i'm worthless trash and nobody'll ever love me and that i should stay away from taichi because i'm not good enough for anyone." geonwoong said, and now euijeong _really_ wanted to shoot himself in the face.

"you—you know none of that's true, right?" euijeong asked softly, reaching up and squeezing geonwoong's shoulder reassuringly.

geonwoong wouldn't look up. "honestly, at this point...i don't know. i don't really understand how i feel or what i think or don't think, so...i just try not to think about it at all."

euijeong continued to stare at him before he hugged geonwoong close to his side and rubbed his arm reassuringly. "well, i'm here to tell you none of it's true. and if you don't know what to believe, i want you to believe that, okay?" he said, and geonwoong nodded.

"i just...why is he here, hyung?" geonwoong asked softly. "taichi's suffered more than enough...why did yuhwan come back? it's not right."

euijeong sighed. "honestly, i have no idea. maybe he wants to make all of you miserable again...i wouldn't be surprised. he's just awful."

geonwoong nodded. "it's just...i've been thinking. it's weird that he's come back now of all times, after taichi found his soulmate. _you_. well, not really found yet, but you know what i mean. and so...what if yuhwan knows you're taichi's soulmate and he's trying to keep you guys apart?"

euijeong stopped to think about this. it would make sense, considering yuhwan talked to euijeong first. what if yuhwan had done that because he knew euijeong would struggle, and in turn, make a wrong choice? and then he talked to geonwoong to try and get him out of the picture entirely?

in any other scenario, this theory would've sounded ridiculous. but this was yuhwan, and it was obvious that yuhwan was completely insane. while euijeong didn't want to believe that yuhwan might be going after taichi again, it was really the only logical explanation for everything right now.

they'd just have to make sure that taichi was never out somewhere on his own, and it should be okay, so...

 _wait_.

"see? it makes sense doesn't it?" geonwoong asked, and euijeong nodded absentmindedly.

"yeah, but...geonwoong-ah, where's taichi?"

geonwoong shot up, and they both looked at each other for a couple seconds.

_"shit."_

-•-

the second geonwoong and euijeong had gone into the bedroom, taichi left. he grabbed a coat and walked right out the door to their dorm.

he knew that he was being ridiculous, and that it was absolutely terrible to be jealous of geonwoong while he was so upset, but taichi couldn't calm himself down.

"i can't believe he actually called him _baby_. he doesn't call _me_ baby." taichi grumbled, kicking a rock on the sidewalk. "he's not even that close to geonwoong. _i_ don't even call geonwoong baby, he shouldn't either. he should call _me_ baby."

taichi knew he was acting like a two year old but he couldn't help it. euijeong never doted that much on _him_. euijeong never called _him_ any pet names. and yeah, maybe they'd only really talked maybe six or seven times. but taichi didn't care, he knew by now that his feelings toward euijeong were most certainly not platonic, especially after he'd found himself wondering one day what euijeong would look like without a shirt on. so he wanted euijeong to pay attention to him, no matter how selfish it was.

but anyway, he'd gone off on a walk to try and calm himself down. it was really late now, probably about nine or ten at night, and when he pulled his phone out of his pocket, he saw he was right.

 _9:32_.

it was a little chilly, but it wasn't unbearable. taichi would be heading back soon, anyway. even if he was being a salty little shit he was still worried about geonwoong, and he wanted to make sure he was alright.

he sighed and turned around, ready to head back, but then he froze dead in his tracks. there was somebody standing maybe fifteen yards away in front of him, and he knew exactly who it was.

"yuhwan...?" he said, dumbfounded, and yuhwan smiled and pushed his hood down.

"so you remember me. that's good."

taichi took a few steps back. "how could i ever forget you?" he said softly, and a horrible smirk appeared on yuhwan's face. taichi was terrified now. he never thought he'd see yuhwan ever again but here he was, right in front of taichi while taichi was all alone.

"what do you want?" he asked, voice shaking, and yuhwan just smiled that creepy smile of his.

"you, of course. i miss you. you haven't changed one bit; you're still as pretty as ever." yuhwan said, and taichi shuddered in disgust.

"you convinced me i was ugly for a whole three months of my life. you have no right to say i'm pretty now, and you have no right to miss me." taichi said, voice hardening.

yuhwan chuckled and shook his head. "i see you've already moved on from me."

"yeah, i have. i won't let you win, you asshole." taichi said, trying to sound confident but in reality he was beginning to tremble.

yuhwan took a couple steps toward him and taichi quickly took more steps back.

"you know, i do have to say, euijeong _is_ a handsome boy." yuhwan said, a sly smile on his face, and taichi froze. "how do you know about him?" taichi demanded, voice beginning to shake again.

"i know everything about your life now, taichi. you're mine, still, and you won't ever escape me. i'm not going to let little euijeong change that."

taichi was trembling pretty badly now and he doesn't think he's ever been this scared. "you...you stay away from him." taichi said, voice shaking.

"oh, i already talked to him—about a week ago. pretty little thing. didn't he tell you?"

"no...but he'd—he'd tell me. you're lying. you didn't talk to him, you couldn't have..." taichi said, trailing off unsurely.

there was no way. euijeong would have told him...right?

"really? am i? then how would i know about him, taichi?"

"because...because you're crazy, and you probably stalked me, or something—but euijeong would tell me something like that." taichi said quickly, and yuhwan chuckled.

"alright, believe what you want to. but i did, and he's been keeping it from from you. can you even really trust him?" yuhwan said, continuing to step forward but taichi kept going back. "and geonwoong, too. i talked to him again—we had a nice little chat. he didn't tell you either, did he? my, my; you can't trust anyone around here!"

taichi's eyes widened as he felt anger surge through his veins. suddenly he couldn't be bothered to be afraid.

"it was _you?_ what the fuck did you say to geonwoong, you piece of shit?!" taichi yelled.

"good lord, someone's fiesty. but don't worry; i didn't tell him anything but the truth." yuhwan said.

"you _broke him_ , you asshole, tell me what you said to him." taichi growled.

yuhwan just smirked. "if he trusted you enough he'd have told you himself, wouldn't he?"

suddenly, it felt like all the anger had just been punched out of him. the realization hit him hard—if geonwoong had trusted him, he would've told taichi. but instead, he immediately went off to euijeong.

he doesn't trust taichi.

"are you understanding now?" yuhwan said, walking closer and this time, taichi couldn't move. "they don't trust you. they keep secrets behind your back all the time. they're hiding something right now—it has a little something to do with the watch on your wrist. or, in this case, the lack thereof. they don't trust you, why do you trust them?"

taichi was trembling really bad now. yuhwan was right, if they trusted him, they would have told him and they wouldn't keep secrets from him. his vision blurred with tears and he tried his best to blink them away but it didn't work.

then there was on his chin, lifting his head, and yuhwan was right in front of him.

"there's nothing to be afraid of, love. i only hurt you to make you stronger, to make you see that the world is deceptive and you can't trust anyone. i do love you, and i'm ready to show that to you now." yuhwan said, wiping away a stray tear on taichi's cheek with his thumb.

"you're insane." taichi said softly, voice cracking.

he didn't give yuhwan a chance to say anything, he just turned away and ran.

he ran as fast as he could, back to his dorm building because that was the only place he knew. there was a part of him saying _no, yuhwan's wrong, he's lying,_ and taichi was hanging on to that.

geonwoong and euijeong wouldn't lie to him. they trusted him, right? and they wouldn't keep secrets from him. taichi didn't want to believe it, he wasn't going to.

when he got back into the building, he ignored all the stares he got and rushed up the stairs to the first floor, running into his dorm to find euijeong and geonwoong there already.

they took one look at him before they were right next to him, ushering him in and sitting him down on the couch. geonwoong told euijeong to go get taichi some water before he pulled taichi into a tight hug, placing his head on top if taichi's and rubbing his arm comfortingly as taichi cried.

but taichi didn't want to be comforted, he wanted to know if he what yuhwan said was true.

"hyung, it's not true, right? he didn't talk to euijeong? and—and you trust me...you just—you just didn't..." taichi choked out, trailing off at the end, not sure why geonwoong didn't tell him.

geonwoong squeezed him and taichi indistinctly heard euijeong return with some water before geonwoong said a soft, "i'm so sorry, taichi."

taichi shoved him off harshly and stood up, backing away from both of them. he was sobbing, now; his head hurt, his heart hurt, everything hurt. taichi couldn't believe it.

"why? _why?_ why didn't you tell me?!" taichi screamed, and euijeong and geonwoong both flinched.

"i...i just saw him earlier, taichi...and i didn't want to scare you. that's why i didn't tell you. i didn't want to hurt you." geonwoong said softly.

and that comforted taichi a little, knowing that geonwoong hadn't lied to him, he was just upset and didn't want to also upset taichi.

but that didn't excuse euijeong.

"then what about you?!" taichi yelled, turning to euijeong. betrayal was still a burning hot pain in his chest and taichi didn't want to believe it was all true.

"i-i'm so sorry, taichi, i...i just..." euijeong began, voice full of guilt, trailing off at the end.

so it was true. euijeong hadn't told him. but if he had, then none of this would have happened. taichi balled his hand into a fist.

"this is _your_ _fault!"_ taichi screamed, a fresh set of tears streaming down his face. "you're a liar! and—and a traitor, and _i hate you!_ it's all your fault! _get out!"_

euijeong flinched and looked at taichi with wide, hurt eyes. "taichi, _please_ , i-i—"

" _get the fuck out_! i never want to see you again!" taichi screamed again, interrupting him and ignoring geonwoong, who was telling him to stop.

euijeong stared at taichi, hurt, and taichi saw his eyes begin to glisten before he quickly looked down and ran out.

"hyung—wait!" geonwoong called, but euijeong was already gone.

taichi was shaking badly, sobs racking his frame and geonwoong quickly got up to sit him back down on the couch. he pulled taichi in a tight hug, just like earlier, and taichi curled up against him and sobbed.

"shh...i know. calm down, taichi...it'll be okay." geonwoong soothed, rocking taichi gently.

though, as geonwoong sat comforting taichi, he wasn't sure if it would be.

-•-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor babies are all sad :(
> 
> we’re getting into the angst now ;)


	8. eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a little late uhhhhh  
> sorry loves

euijeong was crying when he got back to his dorm, and it scared the shit out of seonghwan.

seonghwan rushed out of his room the second he heard euijeong slam the front door shut, to see him crying. he quickly pulled him into a hug and euijeong appreciated it, but it didn't make him feel any better.

"what happened, jeongie?" seonghwan asked worriedly, pulling back to look him in the eyes. he rubbed away a couple tears on euijeong's face and euijeong looked down.

"i fucked up, seonghwan...i—i was right, i shouldn't have gone anywhere near him, all i did was hurt him...he's hurt and he hates me and it's all my fault." euijeong said softly.

seonghwan stared at him for a couple more seconds, eyes full of worry, before he quickly led euijeong to sit down on the couch.

"what did taichi say to you?" seonghwan asked, sitting close to euijeong and rubbing soothing circles in his back to calm him down.

"he yelled at me, a-and he said that it was my fault, and that he hated me, and that he never wanted to see me again, and...god, seonghwan, it's all my fault..."

"no, jeongie, it's not your fault. why would he say all that?" seonghwan asked, voice gentle.

"you don't understand...i went over there because taichi called me. geonwoong...broke down, i-i guess, and taichi didn't know what to do, and—and so i went over there to help geonwoong and i found out he broke down because yuhwan said a whole bunch of shit to him, and then somewhere in that time taichi left, and yuhwan got to him, too, and...he came back crying, asking if it was true that yuhwan had talked to the two of us when we hadn't told him, s-so we told him the truth, and then he screamed at me and said it was all my fault, and he's right. if...if i had just told him when i met yuhwan, none of this would've happened. it's all _my fault_."

seonghwan stayed silent for a bit, continuing to rub euijeong's back comfortingly. "it's not your fault." he said softly. "you had no way of knowing what would happen. you don't even know yuhwan. it couldn't be your fault."

"but it _is_ , seonghwan. and now...taichi hates me. and he will forever. i—i _love him_ , but i've fucked up any chance i had with him." euijeong said sadly, sniffling softly.

seonghwan watched him with sadness and pity in his eyes before he pushed up euijeong's bangs and pecked his forehead. "it's late, jeongie. why don't you go get some rest, okay? we'll talk about this tomorrow." he said softly. he helped euijeong stand up and led him into his room. euijeong crawled into bed and curled up into a ball, and seonghwan pulled the blanket up over him.

"it'll all be okay tomorrow." seonghwan said reassuringly, voice soft. "we're going to figure something out. don't worry, i'll be here for you no matter what." he squeezed euijeong's shoulder gently before he quietly got up and walked out.

euijeong closed his eyes and tried his best to sleep. "i'm sorry." he said softly, to an empty room but to everyone he knows. "i never should have thought i was worth more than nothing."

 

-•-

 

seonghwan closed euijeong's door gently before he pulled on some shoes and walked out.

he needed to talk to geonwoong, needed to find out what happened. he rushed down to the first floor and to geonwoong's door and knocked on it softly.

a couple seconds later, the door opened slowly and geonwoong peeked his head out. he stared up at seonghwan for a few seconds before he opened the door more and asked a quiet, "is he okay?"

seonghwan shook his head. "he's not doing so well."

geonwoong sighed and opened the door all the way, letting seonghwan come in. they sat down at the table in silence and seonghwan could tell geonwoong was a little uncomfortable. he was fidgeting a lot.

"taichi's asleep. he's...he's really upset. he asked me to never speak to euijeong again, and to make sure he doesn't have to, and hyung...i don't know what to do." geonwoong explained softly, and seonghwan nodded.

"euijeong took it really hard. he started crying, and i think...i think he's starting to mold back into his old self."

geonwoong looked up. "'his old self'?" he questioned.

seonghwan nodded again and looked down. "euijeong has had a lot of trouble with self-esteem and self-image issues, and i wasn't supposed to tell you this, but it's because of his mom. he only had a mom growing up but his mom was abusive, and he's had an extremely hard time his whole life. when i first met him...he was really struggling. he'd just had a pretty bad break up and it was really hard on him, and...well, sometimes i'd go in the bathroom and find blood on the floor. and taichi really means a lot to him, so...this isn't going to be easy for him." seonghwan explained.

geonwoong's eyes were wide. "oh, god...i-i didn't know, i—"

"hey, it's alright. none of this is your fault. we'll...we're gonna figure something out." seonghwan said.

geonwoong nodded unsurely. "but...what can we do, hyung? taichi refuses to even think about euijeong. how could we get him to not only listen to euijeong, but forgive him as well? i mean, euijeong never did anything wrong, but...taichi's convinced that he did, and i think it's because he doesn't want to blame himself. i don't know what we could do."

"we'll figure something out," seonghwan said softly, trying to sound reassuring but he doesn't think it worked. "everything will be okay."

geonwoong stared at him, and seonghwan could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew seonghwan himself didn't believe it. but he didn't say anything else, just sighed and looked away.

"i'll ask yeonhak-hyung. maybe...maybe he'll have a good idea." geonwoong said softly.

seonghwan nodded. "yeah. i'll—i'll ask sungchan, and maybe we'll come up with something." he said, but geonwoong never looked back at him.

seonghwan could only hope his 'reassuring' words wouldn't end up being nothing but empty promises.

 

-•-

 

seonghwan found out pretty quickly that talking to sungchan wasn't the greatest plan. he'd gone over to sungchan's dorm room the next day, but somehow, sungchan already knew everything that'd happened.

"i don't want you around euijeong anymore, hyung." sungchan had said softly.

"what...?" seonghwan questioned. "why?"

"what do you mean ' _why_ '? he betrayed and hurt taichi! how could you want to be around him?"

seonghwan scoffed. "you- do you even know what happened? you can't tell me to stay away from euijeong just because you think what he did was wrong."

"yes, as a matter of fact, i _do_ know what happened. and euijeong's a liar!" sungchan argued.

"what is _wrong_ with you, sungchan?! euijeong had to make a choice, and if you were in his position, you would have made the same one!"

"no, i would have told taichi instead of hiding it from him and lying about it!"

seonghwan scoffed again in disbelief. he couldn't believe what he was hearing. sungchan and euijeong were friends, and sunghan was just willing to turn his back on euijeong like that?

"sungchan, what has gotten into you?! euijeong's your _friend_ , and you're just going to turn around and leave him?!" seonghwan said. he was beginning to get angry now.

"yes, as a matter of fact, i _am!_ the same way he did to taichi! i've known taichi way longer than i've known euijeong, and so have you! i don't understand why you're sticking with euijeong because you _know_ he was wrong!" sungchan argued. they were both raising their voices now.

"oh really? fucking _really_? you think just because you've known taichi longer that means that nothing is ever his fault?! you're not-"

"you're going to fucking blame _taichi?!_ " sungchan yelled.

"no! i'm saying that you can't automatically say euijeong is at fault, here! you want to know something, you piece of shit?! _i_ was the one who told euijeong not to tell taichi in the first place! _i_ said that he should keep it a secret!" seonghwan yelled back.

sungchan snarled and stepped forward angrily so they were face to face.

"i don't _care!_ euijeong made the choice and it's _his fault!_ you were there longest when taichi was with yuhwan, you should know how hard it's been for him! euijeong made a stupid choice and now he should pay for it!"

"you're being ridiculous! if there's anyone to blame here, it's _me!_ blame _me_ , you asshole! it's my fault he ever made that choice in the first place!" seonghwan yelled.

"fine, you want me to blame you?! this is _your fucking fault_ and you're an asshat for hurting taichi! stay the fuck away from him _and_ euijeong! you're nothing but a lying son of a bitch and i want you to _stay the fuck away from me!_ " sungchan yelled, shoving seonghwan backwards as hard as he could and seonghwan hit a wall hard. he hissed in pain and grabbed his back, looking down for a couple seconds to wait for his vision to stop spinning. he rubbed his back a little before he looked back up at sungchan angrily, betrayal shining in his eyes. "i can't fucking believe you'd do this. to me and to euijeong. i love you, you piece of shit, but clearly the feeling isn't mutual." he snarled, before he turned and opened the door harshly, walking out and slamming it shut behind him. he stormed down the hallway, rubbing his aching head and back.

and if his eyes glistened with tears for a couple seconds, well, no one has to know.

 

-•-

 

unfortunately, geonwoong's talk with yeonhak didn't go any better. taichi had been at work so geonwoong texted yeonhak, telling him to come down to his dorm room so they could talk. yeonhak came, they sat at the table, and geonwoong explained the whole story to him. when he asked yeonhak what they should do, yeonhak stayed silent for a bit.

"you should just leave them be." yeonhak said softly.

"but...why? i want to help them." geonwoong responded, confused.

"well, it just...it kind of sounds like it's euijeong's fault."

geonwoong's eyes widened. "w-what?"

"it's his fault. he made a poor choice, and now taichi's suffering because of it. so i think you should just leave it be. it's euijeong's fault, let him suffer too."

"you...how could you say that? euijeong had so much pressure on him, and-"

"—and he made the wrong choice." yeonhak responded, cutting geonwoong off. "i get what you're saying, geonwoong, i do. but euijeong made the wrong choice. and whether he meant it or not doesn't matter. he messed up, and he's got to own up to it."

"have you lost your mind? he _is_ owning up to it. it's hurting him, hyung—just as much as, if not more than, how it's hurting taichi."

"geonwoong, you were _there_ the whole time when taichi was struggling because of yuhwan, and you barely know euijeong at all. it's not right for you to side with euijeong because by doing so you're betraying taichi."

"so then i'm just supposed to leave euijeong to fend for himself?! he made _one choice_ , and it was a mistake! i'm not going to let one mistake destroy our friendship! you're insane!" geonwoong said. he was starting to raise his voice and he was getting angry. he couldn't believe yeonhak was saying what he was.

"i don't think you realize your situation, geonwoong! you're closest to taichi out of all of us, which means you're right in the middle of this! you have to _choose_ , geonwoong, and _you're_ the insane one if you choose euijeong over taichi!" yeonhak yelled.

"i'm not going to choose! you can't force me to pick one or the other because i _can't!_ "

"you don't have a choice! if you stick with euijeong, you'll hurt taichi! you _need_ to stick with taichi!"

" _no!_ i'm not going to choose! _fuck you,_ i'll figure something out without you, asshole!" geonwoong yelled.

yeonhak growled angrily before he raised his arm and slapped geonwoong right across the face, as hard as he could. "i'm your _hyung!_ you have no right to talk down to me!"

geonwoong froze before he reached up and touched the place on his cheek where he'd been slapped. it stung like a bitch and it took him a bit to accept what had just happened. yeonhak had _slapped_ him. he yelled at him and slapped him. yeonhak was the sweetest person geonwoong knew, yet he just slapped him.

he looked back at yeonhak, eyes wide and full of hurt.

"you...i can't believe you," geonwoong said softly, voice full of emotion, "stay away from me. and—and euijeong, too. i don't want you anywhere near him."  
  
he continued to stare at yeonhak, waiting for something, _anything_ that could push down the growing feelings of distrust and betrayal in his heart, but yeonhak didn't say anything.

geonwoong glared at him as best he could before he got up and stormed out of the dorm. as he walked, he tried his hardest to ignore the burning anger rushing through his veins so he wouldn’t hurt something. 

 _i can't believe i ever loved you_ , he thought, _i_ _can't believe i still do_.

 

-•-

 

euijeong needed to go.

he couldn’t do this anymore, he was only causing pain for everyone. he found out about seonghwan’s fight and he found out about geonwoong’s fight and the guilt turned into a whole bunch of little needles, jabbing at his heart and his mind and he couldn’t get it to go away.

he couldn’t bring himself to look seonghwan in the eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to look _anyone_ in the eyes. he’s a piece of shit and he knows it, he’s single-handedly ripped apart everyone’s friendships at the seams faster than yuhwan ever could have.

he needs to leave, needs to get away from everyone because he’s done absolutely nothing but hurt all of them, and he’s not going to take any more chances. i mean, for god’s sake, yeonhak won’t even _look_ at him now at work, he’s started taking different shifts at other times so he won’t have to be with euijeong. and euijeong can understand why, yeonhak’s too sweet for his own good and he’s taking different shifts so he won’t snap at euijeong but it doesn’t make euijeong feel like any less of a piece of shit.

so, he began packing up his things while seonghwan was gone. he’d found a dirty, small, cheap little apartment on the other side of town and it was where he was going to live. he’ll still have to go to college, and he’ll still have calculus with taichi, but he’s gonna be living farther away so he won’t have to see any of them any more than what is necessary.

he doesn’t have very much stuff—what college student does?—so it didn’t take very long to take what he had and stuff it all in a few bags. he was moving into his apartment tomorrow morning, and he was relieved but upset to be finally going. he’s going to miss seonghwan, but it’s all for the best.

when he’d closed up all the bags, he heard the door to their room open and euijeong cursed under his breath. seonghwan was back early.

“euijeong-ah,” seonghwan called, “i’m back.”

euijeong didn’t respond, in favor of shoving all the bags underneath his bed as quickly as possible and praying seonghwan wouldn’t come in.

no such luck, however, because the door to euijeong’s room opened and seonghwan walked in.

“i got you some...food...” seonghwan said, voice trailing off at the end. he looked around at euijeong’s now suspiciously empty room and euijeong took the time to hate how perceptive seonghwan was.

“are you...are you going somewhere, jeongie?” seonghwan asked softly, looking at him with sad and pleading eyes, and euijeong felt another jab of guilt at his heart.

“no, i’m not going anywhere, seonghwan. i’m just...cleaning.” euijeong responded.

“where are you going?” seonghwan asked sadly, and euijeong could tell there was no fooling him.

euijeong sighed. “i’m sorry, seonghwan. but...i have to go. i don’t belong here anymore, and so i’m leaving.” he said softly, and seonghwan stepped closer to him.

“you’re—you’re not going far though, right? i’ll still see you?” seonghwan asked, voice small and pleading and it was breaking euijeong’s heart.

“no, don’t worry, i’m not going far.” he assured seonghwan, voice quiet. “i’m just going to move into an apartment on the other side of town, so—so that none of you will have to see me. i’ll still go to college at this school, though.”

seonghwan nodded sadly and looked down. he didn’t say anything else, so euijeong slowly began pulling his bags back out from under the bed and placing them on top of it.

“when are you leaving?” seonghwan asked, voice so soft euijeong had to strain to hear him.

“tomorrow morning.” euijeong responded, voice just as quiet.

seonghwan nodded again and still didn’t look up. euijeong heard him take a shaky breath. “i miss sungchan, you know.” he said.

euijeong winced. it felt like his heart was just smashed with a sledgehammer. who’s fault was it that sungchan and seonghwan fought? euijeong’s. euijeong felt like shit and if he broke apart seonghwan and sungchan’s relationship, even when the two of them are _soulmates_ , he’s never going to forgive himself.

“...a-and so...i’m going to go with you.” seonghwan said, looking up to meet euijeong’s eyes.

euijeong snapped out of his thoughts as his eyes widened. “what? seonghwan, no. i’m not going to let you do that-“

“you can’t tell me no. sungchan turned his back on me, and i...i can’t let you do it, too. i don’t know how i’ll make it.” seonghwan said, voice determined but small, and euijeong realized that he was right. if euijeong were to leave seonghwan here, seonghwan would have nobody on his side except for jiwon, so he’d be alone—the one thing seonghwan’s always hated the most.

euijeong wasn’t going to let that happen to him.

euijeong took a shaky breath. “alright. yeah, you can come. i’ll help you pack your stuff. i...i don’t want to drag you down with me, but...i can’t leave you alone, either. so...i guess we’re going together.” he said.

seonghwan rushed forward and pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tightly. “thank you.” he said softly. 

“let’s do this together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh damn
> 
> they leavin
> 
> will they come back? who knows
> 
> well i do but you dont ;)
> 
> hope you enjoyed mwah mwah


	9. nine

taichi was angry.

but he was also upset, and he was also feeling guilty.

a week has passed, and he's just recieved the news that euijeong and seonghwan were moving out. taichi wasn't told the reason, (geonwoong was upset enough as it was, and taichi didn't want to press him and make it worse) but he couldn't help but to feel angry. euijeong betrayed him, and now he's going to turn his back on not only taichi, but everyone else as well? he could understand why seonghwan had gone with, he'd heard about seonghwan and sungchan's fight, (sungchan was really having a hard time, and he couldn't get a hold of seonghwan, which was upsetting him even more. taichi felt so guilty for it) so he could understand why seonghwan would have gone with. but euijeong was being nothing but selfish, and taichi wasn't having any of it. taichi doesn't want a reason why now, he doesn't want anything to do with euijeong.

and yeah, maybe it was hurting more than anything—the heartbreak _and_ the betrayal, but taichi's already been through this with yuhwan and he's not about to fall for it all again. he's over yuhwan, he _is_ , and he's not going to let it turn into where he needs to get over euijeong.

no matter what jiwon tries to tell him.

"taichi, i really think you should listen to him. maybe give him a chance to speak, just a little." jiwon had said, when he'd come over to their dorm to do his daily little check-up thing on geonwoong and taichi. he always comes over to their dorm to check on them and to see how they're doing, and then he talks to geonwoong for a while, then he goes and talks to euijeong and seonghwan. taichi wishes he wouldn't.

"no, hyung. i'm not going to do this again. he had a chance and he blew it. his fault, not mine." taichi said stubbornly.

"taichi," jiwon said softly, "i understand where you're coming from and i get why you're so sure about this, i really do. but euijeong's not like yuhwan. i know you're scared, but trust me, euijeong is one of the sweetest people you'll know. he never meant to hurt you."

taichi looked down. "i don't care. i...i don't want to risk anything again. i don't see any reason to trust him now, and i'm not going to. he made a mistake, i know, but...i just—i can't." he said.

"you don't have to _trust_ him, that's not what i'm asking you to do," jiwon persisted, voice still soft and gentle, "i just want you to listen to what he has to say, and decide from there. he's really upset, taichi, and...there's a lot that you don't know about him yet. a lot he's been hiding, so-"

"oh, that's wonderful." taichi said sarcastically, "more he's been hiding from me. he clearly doesn't fucking trust me, hyung, why should i trust him? he keeps everything from me."

jiwon sighed. "you don't under _stand_ , taichi, he's...he's only been trying to protect you. that's all he wants. he even said that he didn't care what you thought of him, so long as you were safe and happy. he wanted to keep you away from yuhwan. he wanted you to be safe."

taichi looked down again and felt a little tug at his heart. that sounded so much like euijeong, to be so concerned for another without caring what happened to himself. euijeong was just so goddamn sweet and taichi wanted to give him a chance, but there was that little voice in his head telling him that _you've already been through his with yuhwan, you dumbass, why the fuck are you considering putting yourself through that again?_ and taichi couldn't ignore it. he couldn't sit here and think that he knew euijeong when jiwon literally just confirmed that there was still so much he didn't know about him.

taichi took a shaky breath. "i...i'd like to think that i know euijeong, and that i could trust him, but i don't know him, just like you just said, so...i don't know if i can trust him. yuhwan was so sweet to me too, in the beginning, but...we all know how that turned out. i'm not giving him a chance, hyung, i _can't_. he hurt me and he hurt geonwoong...i'm doing what i think is best for me and for geonwoong, and i'm sticking with my decision." taichi said, and jiwon looked at him sadly before he sighed and looked down, nodding slightly.

"alright, taichi." he said softly, "i understand. but please, just...give it some more thought, okay? euijeong's different, and i think you'll learn that very quickly if you give him another chance."

he stood up from his chair and reached over to pat taichi on the head, the weird thing he always does to comfort people. "i'm going to go talk to geonwoong, okay? if you want to ask me anything, just yell." he said, smiling softly at taichi one last time before he turned and walked away, disappearing down the hallway.

 _i'm sorry, euijeong-hyung_. taichi thought, staring down at the table sadly. _but...i can't bring myself to trust you now._

 

-•-

 

geonwoong wasn't doing so good, jiwon discovered.

he was in his room, but when jiwon walked in, he was just sitting on his bed and staring at the wall.

jiwon was a little concerned.

"geonwoong?" he said softly, "are you alright?"

geonwoong just nodded, still staring at the wall.

"what...are you doing?"

"thinking." he said, voice so soft jiwon had to strain to hear him.

jiwon went over and sat next to him.

"what are you thinking about?" he asked, gently reaching up and grasping geonwoong's chin to get him to turn and look at jiwon.

"nothing." geonwoong said, and looked down.

jiwon sighed. "geonwoong-ah, don't do this. i know you're upset about something, please tell me what it is."

geonwoong shifted uncomfortably. "it's just...i don't know what to do, hyung. and i don't know how long i can keep this up." he said softly.

"keep what up?" jiwon asked.

"everything, i guess. i can't—i can't pick a side, hyung. i can't do it. but if i don't...i risk hurting so many people and i can't do that, either."

"what do you mean 'pick a side'?" jiwon asked softly.

"taichi...wants me to never speak to euijeong again. but i understand euijeong, and i don't want to turn around on him like so many of you guys have. but if i don't...i'll lose taichi. i...i can't do this hyung, i can't. i don't want to pick a side, i don't want to have to be afraid of hurting people just for helping. i don't want this, i don't want to hurt anyone and i don't think there's anyway not to. god...i-i don't know anymore, i just...yuhwan was right, goddamnit. i never belonged with any of you. i never had a place here." he said, voice cracking at the end, and jiwon saw his eyes begin to glisten.

"hey, don't cry," jiwon said worriedly, wrapping his arms around geonwoong and pulling him against his chest. "it'll be alright, don't worry."

"no it won't," geonwoong said, sniffling softly, "i'll have to choose between euijeong and taichi and i _can't_ , y-yeonhak already hates me, and i fucked up, and i...i don't know. _i don't know_."

"yeonhak doesn't hate you," jiwon said, "why do you think that?"

"we—we had a big fight, and he yelled at me and it was my own fault, b-but he got mad and then he...he hit me and now he's angry with me and he's probably going to hate me forever, and i _love him_ but he hates me and so will euijeong and taichi and seonghwan and you and...and..." geonwoong said, trailing off at the end, and jiwon could feel how close he was to breaking.

"shh, calm down...just breathe for a second, okay? everything's alright. it'll all be okay." jiwon soothed, rubbing his arm comfortingly. "nobody hates you, yeonhak definitely doesn't hate you, i promise. and you won't have to pick a side, okay? i'll make sure of it. when i go and talk to euijeong i'll tell you. and i'll tell him you're with him and i'll tell you everything he says so then you don't have to talk to him, and you don't have to choose. you can be with euijeong and taichi. nobody's mad at you, and i don't want you to believe anything yuhwan said to you. i couldn't have picked a better person to be next to taichi during all this; you'll be perfectly fine. don't worry."

geonwoong nodded and rubbed at his eyes. "thank you, hyung." he said softly.

"anytime. if you're ever struggling like this again, you tell me, okay? everything that's happened has been rough for everyone, you aren't alone. you'll be alright."

geonwoong nodded again, but he didn't say anything else. jiwon hoped that was a good thing.

 

-•-

 

euijeong learned pretty quickly that separating himself from taichi was going to be harder than he originally thought.

he had this weird feeling of longing in his heart for quite a few days before he finally realized it was because he missed taichi—he missed taichi _so much_ and he wanted nothing more than to see him again. but he couldn't, because he'd gone and fucked everything up and now he'll never get to see taichi again.

euijeong was so pathetic he somehow managed to fuck up being with his soulmate—somebody who's supposed to be the one for him no matter what.

and now, he's not quite sure how much he can take. every day that passes he just gets more upset, and he feels like shit for dragging seonghwan along with him. yeonhak couldn't even look at him, taichi wouldn't sit anywhere near him in class, euijeong's falling behind in school, he's had to work longer shifts to keep up with the rent for the apartment, seonghwan's had to work longer so he's out longer, and so now euijeong's a step away from spiraling down into a dark, dark hole.

oh, and don't even get him fucking _started_ on all the student debt.

euijeong's scared, he's scared of himself and he's scared of just plain going outside. everything he does seems to put him in more debt, more of a struggle, and he doesn't know what to do. jiwon has been trying to help them, but euijeong hasn't been accepting it because he's not about to drag jiwon down with him.

("i'll be _fine_ , hyung." euijeong insisted, when jiwon had come over to check on them. "i don't need your help. we'll be okay."

"euijeong, i know that's not true. i've _seen_ it, and seonghwan's told me everything, and-"

"we'll be _fine_." he said stubbornly. "i promise."

jiwon sighed. "i'm going to start talking to seonghwan instead. you're too stubborn for your own good."

"he's not going to budge either. we're going to be fine, and the only way you'll be too is if you keep your distance."

jiwon sighed again in defeat. "i'm not going to give up on you, jeongie. you or seonghwan. i promised, and i'm going to go through with it. just you wait.")

so it's not fine, he's not fine and he doesn't know if he'll make it if anything more happens. at least then taichi would be happy—happy that the one who hurt him again was gone. euijeong supposed that maybe it'd be good, if it made taichi happy. euijeong would do anything to keep that cute smile on taichi's face. and if it meant sacrificing his own health and happiness, so be it.

"as long as he's happy, i can live while suffering." he muttered to himself. "i'll do anything for him."

he was currently walking to a pharmacy down the road from their apartment building to get some painkillers for seonghwan, who'd done something stupid at work, (like the idiot he is) and hurt his back. it wasn't anything serious but he'd been whining for the past hour and a half so euijeong agreed to get him painkillers to shut him up.

well, euijeong also wanted to see if they were hiring, because his job at the convenience store was now on the other side of town, and it was kind of a pain in the ass to get there. plus, he could do with two jobs; it would definitely help with all the debt and rent.

so, he tried to cheer himself up with the thought that he'd be earning more money, but it didn't really help much at all.

in a few more minutes he finally reached the pharmacy. it was a bit chilly out, so it was nice to finally walk into a building where there was heating.

he immediately walked over to the painkillers section and began to search around, trying to find something that would actually work for seonghwan so the man would stop bitching.

he was interrupted, however, by a soft, "euijeong?"

he glanced up in confusion, wondering who could possibly know him; but when he did, he froze in his place.

"m...mom?" he said softly, unconsciously backing up. there, at the register, was his mom. and he was _terrified_ of his mother—he didn't even want to call her that. she was a monster, she did nothing but break euijeong his entire childhood. she was disgusting, abusive, and euijeong never thought he'd have to see her again. "why are you here?" he asked, eyes wide in fear.

"i heard you were going to college here. i wanted to see how you'd grown." she said.

"you have no right, you ruined my life. i—you _hated_ me. why do you care now?" he questioned, and it was a miracle he didn't fumble over his words or stutter.

but her eyes narrowed in anger, and euijeong knew he'd fucked up. " _i_ ruined _your_ life? you ruined my life completely! you're the reason your father left me!" she yelled, and euijeong flinched.

"he left you because you're a bitch," he said, voice shaky, "not because of me."

"you weren't even supposed to be born. he didn't want you and neither did i! you're nothing more than a mistake!"

"then why was i born?!" euijeong demanded, "you could've just aborted me. i could have never been born! that would have made everyone happy including myself, so why the fuck did you have me?!" he yelled, feeling tears prick at the corners of his eyes. he hated her so much but he felt so weak and so small all over again, just as he was when he was a scared little six year old boy crying over his new bruises—the ones she had given him.

"you know _damn well_ why i didn't abort you," she growled, "i couldn't. my mother would have disowned me if i did and the only reason i was getting by was because of her. so i had to have you, but you were nothing but a _disappointment_."

euijeong felt himself begin to tremble badly and he needed to get out of there, needed to leave before he sobbed and broke down in front of her. that was exactly what she fucking wanted and euijeong wasn't about to give it to her.

"you're a monster," he said softly, "i hate you."

he turned and sprinted out of the pharmacy as fast as he could, down the sidewalk and back to their apartment. tears were blurring his vision and streaming down his face; he was struggling to breathe and there was a strong ache in his heart. he felt so broken, so alone, so _scared_ , and he needed somebody to help him before he broke for good.

he ran until he made it to his apartment complex and was in front of their door in seconds. he fumbled with the keys before he unlocked the door and burst in.

"seonghwan, where are you?" he choked out, stumbling into the living room and using the wall for support. he was sobbing now and shaking so bad.

seonghwan was on the couch but he was up and next to euijeong in a matter of seconds.

"i'm right here, jeongie. you're okay, you're safe here." he said soothingly, quickly pulling euijeong down the couch and sitting him down. "breathe, euijeong. come on, you've got to breathe for me." he said gently, pulling euijeong against his side and rubbing his back comfortingly.

euijeong clung to him and buried his face down into his shoulder, trying to control his breathing but he couldn't. seonghwan grabbed one of his hands and pulled it to his chest so euijeong's hand was over swonghwan's heart. he could feel seonghwan's heartbeat and his breathing.

"i want you to copy my breathing, alright? can you feel it?" seonghwan asked, and euijeong nodded as best he could. he focused only on seonghwan's heartbeat and his breathing, ignoring his own erratic breaths and pathetic sobs.

seonghwan squeezed him gently, leaning his head down on top of euijeong's and saying soft, soothing words. he held euijeong close until euijeong's breathing finally evened backed out, continued to hold him until his sobs had died down to an occasional soft sniffle, and kept holding him after that. euijeong has never appreciated anything more in his life.

"thank you." he said softly, and he felt seonghwan nod.

"what happened, jeongie?" seonghwan asked, "i've never seen you like that before. you scared me."

"i...i ran into my mom. and she—she yelled at me like the bitch she is and i...god, why am i still so damn weak?" he said.

"you aren't weak, you were never weak." seonghwan quickly assured him, "there's nothing wrong with being afraid. and for growing up as well as you did with a mother like that, you're the strongest person i know."

euijeong nodded slowly. "it's just...seonghwan, i-i don't want to be here anymore. i want to leave. for good." he said softly.

seonghwan didn't say anything in response for a bit. euijeong could tell he was thinking, and euijeong hoped he'd say he didn't want to go so seonghwan would finally be free of euijeong.

"alright." he responded, voice so quiet euijeong barely heard him. "we...we'll go."

"you don't have to come with me, seonghwan. you should go back and be with sungchan." euijeong said.

seonghwan sighed softly. "i wish i could, i really do." he said, sounding sad, "but sungchan hates me now, and i...i can't leave you. so i'm going to go with you, because i have nothing to stay for anyway."  

"are you sure?" euijeong asked softly, squeezing him gently before sitting up to look him in the eyes. 

"yeah. i'm sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooo shit 
> 
> stuffs happening
> 
> but we’re almost done ;)
> 
> the next chapter’s going to be short btw


	10. ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short & late as fuck oops
> 
> well, here you go friends. sorry for the wait even though i know nobody’s waiting lmfao
> 
> we need more blanc7 fics :’(

euijeong had it all planned out.

him and seonghwan had one more week until they were gone for good. they were going to sell their apartment and move in with euijeong's older brother, who lived in daegu, until they earned enough money to get their own apartment. they were dropping out of the college they currently attended and were going to enroll in the college euijeong's brother attended in the fall.

he had it all planned out. was he happy about it, though? no. definitely not.

he didn't want to leave, and he sure as hell didn't want to take seonghwan with him. euijeong's been watching seonghwan pretty closely lately to make sure he was doing alright, and he was starting to get worried. euijeong could tell that the fight seonghwan and sungchan had really took a toll on seonghwan—he wasn't as energetic as he used to be, he's recently been having trouble sleeping, and he's a lot quieter now.

euijeong knows that the prospect of moving so far away from sungchan must be torturous for seonghwan, and euijeong feels like shit for it. but he knows that seonghwan isn't going to change his mind, and no amount of convincing from euijeong is going to change that.

however...maybe jiwon could talk some sense into him.

"you're really leaving?" jiwon asked euijeong, the next time he'd come to check on them. they were sitting across from each other at the small table they had in their kitchen.

euijeong nodded.

"well, can i—can i ask why you've made this decision now?"

"i...saw my mom again." euijeong said.

jiwon's eyes widened. "you...you—oh my god, are you alright?" he asked worriedly, reaching forward and placing a hand on euijeong's.

euijeong smiled weakly, looking down and nodding. "yeah. i'm alright. thanks to seonghwan, at least."

jiwon nodded slowly, but didn't move his hand. "so...i guess...this is it, then? the last time i'll see you two...?"

euijeong looked down and nodded sadly. "well, not necessarily, but pretty much. we're leaving at the end of this week." he said softly. he took a shaky breath and looked back up to meet jiwon's eyes. "i...i messed up. you guys are my only friends, and...only two of you don't hate me now. i can't...i-i'm only hurting you guys, all of you, and so...i need to go. i hope you understand."

jiwon nodded slowly. "i...i understand. i know that this is hard on you, and seonghwan, and i know that nothing i say will change your mind."

euijeong nodded and lowered his eyes again.

jiwon took a deep breath. "but," he said softly, "i want you to know, and i want you to always remember, that none of this was ever your fault. and i want to ask you to give them a chance. taichi...he's just scared, alright? you know how hard this is for him. he...cares about you, and he doesn't want you to go. trust me. geonwoong's having a pretty hard time, he doesn't want you to go either. and sungchan...well, i think you know."

euijeong nodded. "that's what i wanted to talk to you about. i need you to help me convince seonghwan to stay."

jiwon looked confused. "why? aren't you going together?"

"we're supposed to be, but...i don't want him to come with me. hyung, he's really struggling, and he misses sungchan a lot. he told me how much he wants to apologize and how much he wants to see him. i'm sure sungchan is no different. so please, talk some sense into him. if he comes with me, it'll do nothing but hurt him and sungchan. i'm not going to break them apart like this. they love each other, they're soulmates, and i won't separate them."

jiwon stared at him for a couple seconds before he looked down and nodded. "alright. i'm going to talk to him. but i'm not done with you yet, alright? don't go running off on me already." he said.

"i won't. i promise."

 

-•-

 

when jiwon went into seonghwan's room to talk to him, seonghwan was sitting on his bed, holding the picture frame he had on the table next to his bed. it was a picture of him and sungchan together.

jiwon sat down next to him. "you really miss him, don't you?" he asked softly.

"of course i do." seonghwan said, voice so soft jiwon almost had to strain to hear him.

"euijeong wants you to stay here." jiwon said, pulling seonghwan's head down onto his shoulder.

"i know. but i can't."

"why not?" jiwon asked, voice still soft.

"because i can't leave euijeong alone. not after everything that's happened. i was the one that was here for him when he was struggling most, and...i intend on being that person again. he needs me right now, more—more than i need sungchan, so...i'm going to do what's best for euijeong."

jiwon nodded slowly before leaning to the side and resting his head on seonghwan's.

"what are you going to do about sungchan, then?"

seonghwan curled up a bit. "i don't know. whatever he wants, i'll agree to it. if he wants to break up with me i'll understand. tell him i love him so much and i'll miss him more than anything in the world, more than i already do. tell him i don't regret being with him and that i loved every moment i spent with him. he's the love of my life and i hope he always knows that. and...i hope he understands i can't leave euijeong now, not like this." seonghwan said softly, voice cracking in the middle and soon he was crying.

jiwon sat up and pushed seonghwan's head down onto his lap so he could pet his hair comfortingly.

seonghwan buried his face into jiwon's stomach and cried, and soon the bottom of jiwon's shirt was wet, but he didn't care.

"seonghwan-ah...listen to me, please. i want you to wait, alright? i want you to count on the fact that you're going to see sungchan again before you go. i'm going to talk to him, and i'll try to see if you can see each other at least one more time. he loves you, he loves you so much and he misses you more than anything. i want you to know that."

"that's—that's not what he said when we fought." seonghwan said softly, and jiwon sighed.

"you know how he loses his temper sometimes. he didn't mean a word he said to you, i _know_ you know that."

seonghwan sniffled and turned to look up at jiwon. "i...i know. but it's just...he was _so mad_ , and the only times i've ever seen him that angry were when he found out about yuhwan, and when he found out about that asshat at work who wouldn't leave me alone. he's never been that angry at _me_ before, so i..." he said softly, trailing off at the end.

"you were afraid he meant it." jiwon finished for him, voice gentle, and seonghwan nodded, reaching up and rubbing the tears out of his eyes.

"well, don't worry. he never meant a word of it and i know he'll never yell at you like that again. trust me on that."

seonghwan nodded before he smiled up at jiwon softly. "thanks, jiwon."

 

-•-

 

"alright, now that i'm not talking to you guys separately, please give the other guys a chance. they're upset, all of them, and trust me—the last thing they want to do is see you go. i'm going to talk to them, and i'm going to convince them to talk to you. and to each other, for that matter; geonwoong and yeonhak need to shape the fuck up. anyway, if i can't convince you to stay, i know they will. seonghwan, i'll have sungchan drag you by your hair if i have to. i am _not_ letting you go like this, and i _will_ fix this." jiwon said sternly, after he'd dragged them both into the living room and threw them down on the couch.

"hyung, you really don't need to-" euijeong protested, but jiwon cut him off.

"nope, you don't have a say in this. you can make your decisions, and i can make mine. do you know how many of you i've had to comfort in the past month when you've cried? all of you. you're only hurting yourselves and i'm not going to let you do that. so this is what i'm going to do now. if you guys can't fix it, i will."

"but we _are_ fixing it. by leaving, we're-" euijeong started, but jiwon cut him off again.

"no, you are _not_ , in fact you're making it worse but i know you won't believe me when i say that. i've made a promise to geonwoong and to taichi and goddamnit, i'm making it to you two as well. _i will fix this_."

euijeong and seonghwan looked at each other before they both chuckled at jiwon’s sudden determination.

"alright, hyung. we'll believe you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter might be shorter too, i dont know yet.


	11. eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been SO fucking long since i posted woops i am so sorry

jiwon is sick of this.

he's sick of going back and forth, trying to hold all of them together when he knows damn well that none of them wanted to split apart in the first place. he understands taichi, of course he does—but he's not just going to sit back and watch as seonghwan and sungchan's relationship is ripped apart at the seams and as euijeong continues to struggle the way he is. he understands taichi, but at the same time, taichi's the reason everyone has split apart.

jiwon's not going to let it happen.

he was going to talk to all of them and convince them to get their shit together before they destroy themselves for good.

so he decided to talk to sungchan first—he knows him and seonghwan have suffered the most. jiwon has never in his life seen a couple more in love than those two and he is  _not_ about to let them break up. it'd completely destroy both of them.

sungchan was in his and yeonhak's shared room, in their dorm. which was great, jiwon would be able to talk to yeonhak and sungchan. kill two birds with one stone.

sungchan was laying on his bed, on his phone. jiwon had let himself in (they never lock their doors) and slammed the door to the room behind him.

sungchan jumped and looked up and him.

"jiwon-hyung? what-"

"i talked to seonghwan." jiwon said curtly, interrupting sungchan.

sungchan sat straight up, wide-eyed and hopeful. "you did? i-is he...is he okay?"

jiwon walked over and sat down next to sungchan. "did you mean what you said to him when you fought?" he asked.

"of course not. i-i didn't...i'd never..." sungchan said, but his voice trailed off at the end. "i love him. i'd—i'd rather throw myself off a building than hurt him again."

jiwon's eyes softened. "he's upset. mostly because he misses you, but also because he's scared you meant what you said."

sungchan looked devastated. "i—i didn't...i never meant to. i-i just wanted to help taichi, but i...i fucked up." he said softly.

"i know you didn't mean it. and i know deep down, he does too. but sungchan-ah, you have until the end of this week to say something, else you might lose him. for good."

sungchan looked up at him. "what? w-why?"

"seonghwan and euijeong are leaving. they're moving to daegu and they're not coming back, and that's why i'm here. i  _need_  you to help me convince them not to go."

sungchan's bottom lip began to tremble. "n-no...no he's not...he can't go. he can't go, i—i don't know what i'd do without him, i..."

jiwon quickly began to rub soothing circles into sungchan's back to calm him down.

"shh, it's okay. he's not gone yet. you still have a chance to apologize and get him back, don't worry." jiwon said gently, and sungchan sniffled and nodded.

"what...what did he say to you?" he asked softly.

"he said that he loves you more than anything in the world, and he misses you so much. he said anything you want to do with your relationship just call him and he'll understand. he doesn't regret loving you, he wants you to know that, and all he asks is that you don't hate him and you understand he can't leave euijeong alone now." jiwon said softly, squeezing sungchan's shoulder gently before he pulled sungchan's head down to his shoulder—the same way he'd done with seonghwan.

they were both so heartbroken but they had no reason to be, they were still so in love. but even though they were so close, they couldn't be futher apart.

jiwon really was sick of this.

"i need you to help me convince taichi to talk to euijeong. if euijeong goes, seonghwan does too. if euijeong stays, then seonghwan does too. taichi's the only chance we've got at stopping the two of them. can you talk to him for me?" jiwon said, voice soft but tone urgent.

sungchan hesitated at first, but soon slowly nodded. "i can try. but i...i want to talk to seonghwan-hyung. just—just in case we can't convince them to stay."

jiwon nodded. "alright. i'll take you over to see him later. i need to talk to yeonhak first, though. do you know where he is?"

"yeah. he's at the library to study." sungchan said softly.

jiwon rubbed sungchan's side comfortingly before he pulled away and stood up.

"it'll be alright. don't worry." jiwon said softly, patting sungchan's head softly before he leaned down and pecked his forehead. "i won't let anything happen to you and seonghwan."

 

**-•-**

 

yeonhak looked miserable.

jiwon wasn't surprised, yeonhak is  _whipped_ for geonwoong and must feel like shit for whatever it was he said to him.

geonwoong was doing pretty bad but jiwon knew yeonhak would be worse.

yeonhak was by himself at a small table all the way in the back corner of the library. it took jiwon a while to find him, he was hidden behind a whole bunch of bookshelves from nearly every angle. not only that but he was just staring out the window, and didn't even acknowledge jiwon when the elder sat down next to him.

"yeonhak-ah," jiwon said softly, "come on, look at me."

yeonhak made a weak noise but didn't move.

jiwon sighed. "have you tried talking to him?"

yeonhak didn't say anything.

" _answer_   _me,_ yeonhak. i can't help you if you don't talk to me."

"...he wouldn't let me anywhere near him." yeonhak said softly. 

"well, he said you hit him." jiwon said, and yeonhak visibly winced. "did you?"

"...i-i don't know why i did." yeonhak said softly, shifting his gaze down to his textbook on the table. "he didn't even do anything wrong, yet i just...slapped him. and he—he looked so upset, but i didn't say anything, and i don't know  _why,_ i—i hurt him, and now he hates me."

jiwon's eyes softened. "he doesn't hate you, he thinks  _you_  hate  _him_. and he just feels...betrayed. he went to you for help, but you...you know."

yeonhak buried his face in his hands. "i love him. i love him so much, yet i—i slapped him. and i yelled at him. all he wanted was to help euijeong, but i hurt him." he said softly. "and i went to go apologize, b-but he wouldn't even let me say anything, he just told me to go. he wouldn't listen to me,  _god_ hyung, i don't know what to do. i-i messed up my chance with him for good."

jiwon reached up to pet yeonhak's hair comfortingly. "he's trying to get over you, yeonhak. that's why he won't talk to you."

yeonhak finally lifted his head to look at jiwon. "what?"

"he loves you. but you hurt him, and he's realized he can't have you because you have a soulmate and he doesn't. he thought that maybe he had even the slightest bit of a chance but now, he's given up, so he's trying to get over you."

yeonhak looked at his wrist. "but...i don't know my soulmate." he said, and jiwon blinked in confusion.

"what?" jiwon said, pulling yeonhak's sleeve up to look at his other wrist and sure enough, there was no watch. "what happened?"

"it was about a week ago. i was supposed to work a new shift at work, but...i told the manager last second i couldn't do it."

"but...why?"

"because my watch had such little time left, and i knew i'd meet whoever my soulmate was. and...i-i'm selfish, so i didn't want to. i don't want a soulmate, i don't care. i want  _geonwoong,_ i don't want anyone else."

jiwon stared at him. "so...you purposefully missed out on meeting your soulmate because...you knew they wouldn't be geonwoong?" he said softly, and yeonhak nodded.

"i love him. i-i don't want anyone but him. and i've been trying to work up the courage to tell him, but...now i've messed it up. i-i don't think i'll ever be able to tell him. i don't think he'll let me."

jiwon sighed. "yeonhak, all i'm going to tell you now is if you're giving up already, you clearly don't love him."

yeonhak looked at him. "w-what?"

"you love him, don't you? you gave up your soulmate for him. if he means that much to you, don't stop trying to talk to him. you know him, he's stubborn but he can't stay mad for long.  _keep trying_ , and you'll get through to him. do you know why he's always wanted a soulmate?"

yeonhak shook his head.

"because he wanted it to be you." jiwon said, and yeonhak's eyes widened slightly before he looked down.

"he loves you more than anything in the entire goddamn world and i know you feel the exact same way. so  _talk to him,_ and i promise everything will work out."

yeonhak nodded hesitantly. "okay. i'll—i'll try. i just don't want to upset him any more." he said softly.

"trust me on this, yeonhak. if you tell him, you'll make him the happiest he's ever been." jiwon said.

yeonhak nodded again before he smiled weakly. "thanks, hyung."

"anytime."

 

**-•-**

 

as it turned out, sungchan definitely wasn't as ready to talk to seonghwan as he thought he was.

jiwon had driven him over to euijeong and seonghwan's apartment and now sungchan was standing outside of the door, completely terrified of going in. what if seonghwan got mad again? what if...sungchan really had fucked up their relationship for good?

jiwon had told him there was nothing to worry about, and that seonghwan would even be happy to see him, but sungchan wasn't sure whether or not he should believe him.

sungchan was scared of talking to  _seonghwan,_ and it felt so wrong.

but if sungchan were to chicken out and leave now...he may never see seonghwan again, and the last thing he'll have said to him was...

sungchan didn't want to think about it.

he also didn't want this to be it for them. seonghwan means the world to him and sungchan wasn't going to let him go like this.

he took a deep breath.  _it's now or never._

he took a step forward and knocked on the door softly, trying not to think of the many things that could happen because of this.

after a couple seconds, euijeong opened the door.

and fuck, he looked  _awful._ he was  _very_ noticably thinner, he had to have lost at least ten to twenty pounds. he was incredibly pale and he had dark bags under his eyes—he looked  _exhausted_ and sungchan felt sick.

he couldn't believe that at one point, he'd actually blamed euijeong. he'd actually been  _mad_ at him. looking at him now, sungchan wanted to get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness.

sungchan was sure euijeong would get mad at him, or at least tell him to get lost. after all, sungchan had both hurt seonghwan  _and_ essentially completely written off his friendship with euijeong.

but euijeong didn't get angry or tell him to go away, he just gave him a gentle smile and opened the door more to let sungchan in with a soft, "he's been wanting to see you."

sungchan swallowed thickly. "i-i'm so sorry." he said softly, but euijeong just smiled again and shook his head. "it's alright. besides, i'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

euijeong motioned for him to come in and led him to seonghwan's room. "he's in here. he's...pretty upset. he's missed you."

sungchan nodded, beginning to feel anxious again. but before sungchan could even think about that euijeong opened the door.

"seonghwan-ah, sungchan's here." euijeong said, before he gently pushed sungchan forward and nodded encouraginly. sungchan wanted to ask him to stay but before he got the chance euijeong walked off.

when sungchan looked back over at seonghwan, he was sitting up on the bed and looking at sungchan.

"sungchan-ah?" he said softly, as if he couldn't believe sungchan was actually there.

sungchan took a deep breath and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed. "hi, hyung." he said softly.

"...are you still mad at me?" seonghwan asked, voice so soft sungchan could barely hear him.

"no, of course not." sungchan quickly assured him. "the second you left that day, "i...i got so angry at myself. i never should have yelled at you like that. i-i'm so sorry, hyung."

seonghwan hesitantly moved closer to him, and it made sungchan feel awful. seonghwan was never afraid to get near  _anyone,_ he'd hug people he didn't even know. and so to see him hesitate to even just move closer to sungchan...it made sungchan feel like a piece of shit.

"i love you." seonghwan said, voice still incredibly quiet. he sounded unsure, as if he was afraid sungchan wouldn't say the same, and it broke sungchan's heart.

"i love you too." sungchan said, reaching out to grab seonghwan's hand. "i love you so much."

seonghwan looked down. "i-i'm leaving. did jiwon tell you?"

sungchan nodded sadly. "please don't go." he begged softly.

seonghwan squeezed his hand. "i have to. i-i...euijeong needs me."

"i need you, too." sungchan said. he felt his eyes begin to glisten and he tried his hardest to ignore it.

"i know, baby. but i...euijeong doesn't have anyone else. and i can't leave him alone."

"w-well...can i go with you, then?"

seonghwan shook his head. "no, you can't. your entire life right now is here, and-"

"no, my entire life is  _you._ " sungchan whined softly, voice cracking at the end.

seonghwan's eyes softened. "i don't have a choice, baby. i...i agreed to go because i didn't have you. and i thought—i thought i never would again."

"no, i-i never meant to say any of that, i just—i wanted to help, b-but i got mad, and-"

"i know, i know." seonghwan said gently, cutting sungchan off. "i know you didn't mean it. i love you, sungchan. i want you to remember that. and i never wanted to leave like this. but i can't leave euijeong alone, and...it's killing me too, trust me, but i-i have to go."

sungchan's eyes welled up with tears but he paid it no mind. "s-so...is this it, then? are we—are we done?" he asked softly.

"no, baby. not ever. we'll still be together, we just won't see each other as often, that's all. a-and we can still visit each other."  

sungchan blinked away the tears in his eyes before he threw his arms around seonghwan, pulling him close and burying his face in his shoulder. "i love you." sungchan said, voice muffled.

"i love you too, baby. always." seonghwan said softly, but his voice cracked at the end. he wrapped his arms around sungchan's waist to gently hug him back.

"i-i'm going to talk to taichi. i'm going to get him to talk to euijeong-hyung so you two don't go. i—i can't lose you, hyung. you're everything to me and i wouldn't make it without you." sungchan said softly.

seonghwan sighed softly and gently rubbed sungchan's back. "i don't know how i'll make it without you, either."

 

-•-

 

jiwon didn't want to be mad at taichi, but it was pretty hard not to be.

he was just so damn  _frustrated,_ watching all of them struggle and worry while taichi was perfectly fine. jiwon loves taichi and he'd never blame the boy for everything that's happened but taichi was just so unaware of everything that happened. geonwoong and yeonhak's relationship is possibly completely ruined and seonghwan and sungchan are probably going to get split up for good. and that's not even  _mentioning_  how awful euijeong's doing.

everyone was devastated and breaking apart and taichi was blissfully unaware of it. 

jiwon loves taichi, but he's not going to let this continue.

"you need to fix this." jiwon said, the second he walked in the door to taichi's dorm.

"what?" taichi questioned.

"i said you need to fix this. and  _now._ "

"fix what? hyung, what are you talking about?" taichi said.

"i'm saying that you need to walk your ass over to euijeong and apologize. because euijeong is leaving, and he's taking seonghwan with him."

taichi's eyes widened slightly. "wait—what?"

"euijeong is  _leaving,_ because he thinks it's what is best for you. and seonghwan is going with him. which  _means,_ seonghwan and sungchan are...well, i think you can guess."

"r-really?" taichi asked softly, looking extremely guilty. jiwon expected as much.

"yeah. and geonwoong and yeonhak...might not ever fix their relationship."

taichi looked down guiltily. "is this...all my fault?"

"no, of course it's not." jiwon assured him. "it isn't your fault, but you're the only one who can fix it."

taichi shifted uncomfortably. "i...but euijeong-hyung...i don't know if i can trust him yet." he said softly.

jiwon sighed and quickly took a deep breath to calm himself down. he didn't want to snap at taichi, it wasn't taichi's fault. it really wasn't.

"alright, you listen to me, taichi." jiwon said, a hard edge to his voice. taichi looked up at him in surprise.

"i get you're having a hard time. i get it, alright? you didn't at all deserve yuhwan, and you didn't deserve what happened to you. but goddamnit, euijeong is the purest person i know and i'm not going to let you destroy him like this. running into yuhwan again was hell, i know. but taichi, euijeong ran into his mom again and let me tell you this: his mother is an absolute piece of shit. she did nothing but abuse him his entire life, and then he had to see her again. you were only with yuhwan for a  _year,_ he was with his mom his entire childhood! imagine living with yuhwan, day in and day out for  _eighteen fucking years._ i get you're scared, okay? i get it. but euijeong doesn't deserve this. he's been through nothing but shit his whole life and you're the only one who can change that for him. i'm not going to let you turn your back on him simply because you believe you can't trust him. he  _loves you,_ taichi. and i know you love him. so go  _talk to him,_ goddamnit, before you lose him for good."

taichi didn't say anything in response, he just stared at jiwon in shock.

jiwon sighed again. this was turning out to be harder than he'd thought it'd be. "alright. i wasn't supposed to tell you this, but maybe it'll convince you." he said softly. "i know you're scared. and you have every right to be. but taichi...you know how you missed your soulmate? well, you didn't miss them. your soulmate is euijeong."

that snapped taichi into saying something. "w-what? what do you mean?"

"think about it. that day, you went to your new class. but you were only there for a couple minutes before you went home. the only new person you actually interacted with in that time...was euijeong."

taichi looked like he was about to combust. jiwon couldn't blame him, he did essentially just bombard him with a shit ton of new information.

"b-but...why didn't he say anything?" taichi said softly.

"because he's been convinced he's not good enough for you. he's  _certain_ of it, so he won't even try. he thinks by doing that, he's protecting you."

"protecting me from what?" taichi asked softly, voice still impossibly soft.

"himself." jiwon said sadly.

taichi looked down. "okay...i—i'll talk to him." he said softly, "i'll go see him tomorrow. i-i'm so sorry hyung, i...i never meant for this to happen."

"hey, it's not your fault, okay? it's not your fault. it won't ever be your fault, don't blame yourself. but you gotta fix it, okay? and i know you can do that." jiwon said softly.

taichi nodded. "okay, hyung."

jiwon patted his head comfortingly and smiled at him softly. he really wished he could do more, but all he could do now was sit back and hope taichi would be able to convince euijeong to stay before they all broke apart for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall their comeback stages are killing me they're so gorgeous


	12. final

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT SO I FINALLY DID IT 
> 
> obviously a month after they disbanded but whatever
> 
> also fun fact i actually finished this chapter three fucking months ago but never got around to publishing it for...idfk why i'm sorry  
> but it's done!!!!! i'm glad they're happy, but i cried like a bitch upon realizing that kkid, the little son of a bitch, would never ever post and i would rarely rarely ever get to see pictures of him :((((((( i hate that i love him so much
> 
> ANywAY, this is the end, enjoy

yeonhak went to see geonwoong that afternoon.

he knew that geonwoong would try and shut him out again, but...jiwon was right. he can't give up on geonwoong yet, he can't give up on geonwoong at  _all._ he loves him too much. after all, he selfishly abandoned his soulmate for geonwoong, so there's no way he's going back now.

he knocked on geonwoong and taichi's door and prayed that taichi would answer because taichi would let him in, unlike geonwoong, who would slam the door in his face. yeonhak really couldn't blame him.

thankfully, his prayers were answered and taichi opened the door.

"oh, yeonhak-hyung. are you here to see geonwoong?" he asked, even though they both already knew the answer to that.

yeonhak nodded. "yeah. i-i need to apologize."

taichi looked down. "geonwoong's in our room. but i'll warn you, he's...really not happy. he's been having a hard time, so...he's pretty stressed out. just be careful, alright?"

"of course. thanks, taichi." yeonhak said appreciatively, before he made his way over to geonwoong and taichi's shared room.

he knew already that this wasn't going to be fun, because he really couldn't deal with geonwoong when the boy was angry. it always made yeonhak feel guilty and upset, even if it wasn't his own fault. he really hated to see geonwoong with anything but a smile on his face.

he knocked on the door before he opened it slowly.

"geonwoong-ah?" he said softly, walking in and closing the door behind him. geonwoong was curled up in his bed, and he didn't move.

"get out." geonwoong said, and yeonhak flinched slightly. geonwoong was definitely angry.

"i came to apologize. for real, this time."

"i don't care.  _get out._ "

yeonhak sighed. "look, i'm sorry, geonwoong. i never meant to yell at you like that, and i certainly never wanted to hit you like i did. it's just—i don't know, i wanted to protect taichi, and you, but i messed up."

"yeah, you did. so get out." geonwoong said coldly.

yeonhak really didn't know how he was going to do this.

"please, you have to listen to me. i never wanted to hurt you, i only wanted to keep you safe."

"what part of 'i don't care' don't you understand?  _get out!"_ geonwoong snapped angrily, but yeonhak just sighed and went over and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"what, going to slap me again?" geonwoong said, pulling the blanket up over his head.

yeonhak's eyes softened. he could tell geonwoong was trying to cover up how much he'd really been hurt when they fought.

"you know i would never do something like that to you ever again."

"yeah? well i thought you'd never do it  _at all,_ but i guess i was wrong."

yeonhak sighed. "can you at least look at me, geonwoong?" he asked softly, tugging gently on the blanket, but geonwoong yanked it away before he kicked yeonhak right in the stomach.

it didn't hurt at first—yeonhak was more surprised than in pain—but then it did hurt and it hurt a  _lot,_ he would definitely have a bruise. and okay, he definitely deserved that. but  _fuck,_ geonwoong's got one hell of a kick.

he coughed painfully for a second or two, rubbing his stomach to try and ease the pain.

geonwoong guiltily peaked his eyes out from under the blanket.

yeonhak just smiled at him. "i'm fine, i deserved that. you've got one hell of a kick, though."

geonwoong went back to hiding underneath the blanket. "sorry." he mumbled softly.

"i told you, it's alright, silly. now, are you going to listen to me or do you need to hit me as well?"

yeonhak took geonwoong's silence as an agreement to listen.

yeonhak took a deep breath.  _okay, now or never._ "i love you, geonwoong. do you know that?"

geonwoong didn't say anything, and that made yeonhak nervous. at this point, his heart wasn't just racing, it was sprinting a fucking marathon.

"but you...have a soulmate." geonwoong said, voice so incredibly soft that yeonhak barely heard him.

"i did, yes. but...i didn't meet them."

"why?"

"because i knew they wouldn't be you."

geonwoong finally lifted his head out from underneath the blanket.

"do you...do you really mean that?" geonwoong asked, voice small.

yeonhak lifted up his arms and pulled both of his sleeves down, revealing his wrists. obviously, there was no watch.

geonwoong's eyes widened. "but...why? why would you give up your soulmate?"

yeonhak smiled softly. "i know this will sound strange, especially for you. but i've been told all my life that your soulmate is the one chosen for you by fate, that there's no one better for you. and i...i don't believe that. and to be completely honest...fuck 'fate'. i want to be with  _you,_ i love  _you_. you're everything to me, and i really believe that i will never love anyone more than i love you."

geonwoong sat up slowly. "b-but you...you're not supposed to...love me. nobody is. i-i don't have..." he said, but he trailed off as he stared down at his wrists.

yeonhak just smiled softly and grabbed geonwoong's hand. "well, i do. i do love you. and i don't have a watch anymore either, which means that i don't have a soulmate. so...can you be my soulmate, geonwoong?"

"but you  _do_ have a soulmate, t-they're meant to be with you, they're probably so much better than me, i-"

yeonhak cut him off by lifting geonwoong's hand to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to the back of it.

geonwoong looked up at him in adorable confusion and yeonhak chuckled fondly. "do you love me, geonwoong?" yeonhak asked softly, and geonwoong hesitated but nodded.

"yes. more than anything." he said softly.

"then why won't you let yourself be with me?"

"b-because you have a  _soulmate,_ hyung. i'm not meant for you. i'm meant to be...alone. always and forever. nobody is supposed to love me, so why do you? why are you doing this to yourself?"

yeonhak squeezed geonwoong's hand. "because i love you." he said softly. "i've been in love with you for so long...i'm not going to give up on you for somebody i don't even know. i love you, i want  _you._ and i...i want you to let me love you. because you deserve to be loved, geonwoong, watch or no watch. some stupid timer on your wrist doesn't define who you are. i love you, more than anything in the world and i'll do whatever it takes to make you see that."

geonwoong nodded, looking away for a couple seconds. when he looked back at yeonhak, his eyes glistened with tears and yeonhak panicked.

"oh my god—what's wrong? why are you crying? i'm sorry, i didn't mean to upset you!" yeonhak said quickly, wanting to comfort him but completely unsure of how to do so.

geonwoong laughed. "no, no...i-it's not anything bad, i promise. i'm just so thankful, i really never thought anyone would ever care about me but you  _do,_ thank you, hyung, thank you  _so much._ i love you. i love you more than anything in the whole world."

yeonhak sighed in relief before he reached forward and hugged geonwoong close.

"thank you. i love you too."

geonwoong hugged yeonhak back. "can we pretend to be soulmates, hyung?"

yeonhak chuckled fondly and squeezed him gently. "of course we can. we'll be anything you want us to be."

geonwoong smiled, trying so damn hard not to cry. it would be humiliating and he never cries for something as ridiculous as this.

"i love you." geonwoong said softly, burying his face in yeonhak's shoulder.

yeonhak smiled and rubbed geonwoong's back comfortingly. "i love you too, geonwoong."  
  


 

•—🖤—•  
  


 

sungchan approached taichi the next day.

he couldn't let seonghwan or euijeong go like this, he'd get down on his knees and beg if he needed to. he wasn't going to let seonghwan go and there was nothing that could be done to stop him.

sungchan went to taichi and geonwoong's dorm early in the morning, (a little  _too_ early) but he hadn't been able to sleep at all so it hadn't made much of a difference to him.

taichi answered the door a minute or two after sungchan knocked and looked like he was still half asleep.

"sungchan-hyung? what are you doing here?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"sorry. i know it's early. but...i have to talk to you. about euijeong-hyung." sungchan said, and taichi looked away but nodded, opening the door more to let sungchan in.

they sat at the table and taichi wouldn't meet sungchan's eyes.

"please talk to him." sungchan said. "he's leaving. you know that, right?"

taichi nodded guiltily. "jiwon-hyung told me. i...i'm going to talk to him. today."

sungchan looked down at his hands. "i-i can't lose seonghwan." he said softly. "i know it's awful of me to say this to you, but...convince euijeong to stay. seonghwan is everything to me, and i can't lose him. i said awful things to him, and i can't let him go until i've made it up to him. i can't let him go at  _all_. so please, don't let either of them go."

taichi sighed and buried his face in his hands. "i'm sorry." he said softly. "this is all my fault. i blamed euijeong for something that was never his fault to begin with. i was trying to protect geonwoong and seonghwan hyungs but i ended up hurting them myself. i...god, all this time...i can't believe i was so unaware of everything that was happening. how can i say i'm your friend if i don't even notice when i'm tearing you all apart? i'm sorry. i'm so fucking sorry. i-i don't deserve to be with any of you, i never should've-"

"taichi," sungchan cut in softly, "stop. calm down. this isn't your fault, okay? nobody blames you. it's not your fault your ex is insane.  _nobody blames you._ so you shouldn't either."

taichi sat back and finally met sungchan's eyes. "b-but i-"

" _no._ not your fault, alright?" sungchan cut in. "but euijeong is suffering. and i...i don't want to see him like this ever again."

"what do you mean?" taichi asked softly.

"euijeong is...well, not good. and when you see him, you'll understand. he's so, so thin, i-i felt like he'd break if i touched him. he looked so exhausted and his eyes were so dull...god, it was  _terrifying."_ sungchan said. he took a shaky breath before he continued. "but still...even after everything i'd done to him and seonghwan, he smiled. he smiled at me like nothing was wrong, like he didn't look like death itself, and like i hadn't hurt him and seonghwan. even after everything that happened, and everything he was going through, he still smiled so gently. i know you're unsure, taichi. but euijeong is the purest person i know. there isn't an ounce of evil in him, he's just so gentle and kind. i'll never understand it, considering he's been through nothing but shit his entire life, but it's just how he is—so sweet and so gentle. euijeong needs you, taichi, and i know you need him. so talk to him,  _please,_ before we all lose him."

taichi looked back down. "yeah. okay. i'll—i'll go right now."

"you don't have to go right this minute, if you don't want to. you have all of today. just tell me when you're ready and i'll take you."

taichi shook his head. "no. it's alright, i-i want to go right now. i have to apologize, and i'd rather not wait."

"are you sure?" sungchan asked.

"yeah. i'm sure. let's go now."

sungchan smiled softly and nodded. "well then, let's go."  
  


 

•—🖤—•  
  


 

taichi thought he'd been pretty mentally prepared for his upcoming conversation with euijeong but the second he knocked on the door and euijeong answered, his mind went completely blank. 

sungchan wasn't kidding, euijeong looked  _awful._

he was super pale and incredibly thin,  _way too_ thin and he had horrible eye bags. he looked absolutely exhausted and taichi felt like shit.

"t-taichi?" euijeong asked, obviously taken aback.

"uh...yeah. hi, hyung." taichi said awkwardly, still trying to take in everything he was seeing.

euijeong seemed to notice taichi's slight discomfort. "i-i'm sorry, i know i don't look all that good right now. i didn't know you were coming. but you can come in, if you'd like." he said, smiling softly and stepping back to let taichi in.

taichi couldn't bring himself to move. sungchan was right again. euijeong wasn't angry, he wasn't upset. if anything, he looked happy that taichi was there. he even  _smiled_ at taichi. after everything taichi's done to him, after everything he said and did, euijeong was still able to be so kind to him.

taichi couldn't believe it.

"are you alright?" euijeong asked quietly. "you don't have to come in, if you don't want to. you can go if that's what you want. i don't want you to be uncomfortable or anything, so-"

taichi essentially threw himself at euijeong and wrapped him in the tightest hug he could.

euijeong froze and taichi just squeezed him. "i'm sorry." taichi said softly. "god, i'm so sorry. i-i never meant for any of this to happen. i just wanted...i wanted to protect geonwoong and seonghwan and the others close to me but i...i fucked up. and i hurt you. you mean so much to me, but i hurt you...i'm so sorry."

"taichi, it's alright. really." euijeong said softly. "it isn't your fault. i messed up. i made a mistake and i know that i've got to own up to the consequences. sure, i was sad at first but i had no right to be; after all, it's all my own fault. i understand that now. so i'm doing what i know is best for you, so that you can always be happy."

taichi pulled away. "do you really think that leaving so i never see you again is what's going to make me happy?" he said, and euijeong looked away.

"...we should talk about this inside." he said softly, stepping back to let taichi in again.

taichi sighed and walked in, sitting down on the couch while euijeong shut the door and sat across from him.

"answer my question. please." taichi said.

euijeong wouldn't meet his eyes. "i...i hurt you, taichi. and by being here with you, i'm only risking doing it again. i can't trust myself, so i won't ask you to trust me, either. i'll go, so i can never hurt you again."

"but that would hurt more than anything else you could do to me." taichi said softly, and euijeong stared down at his hands in his lap.

"trust me, taichi. i don't want to go, either. but i-"

"then don't!" taichi interjected. "nobody's asking you to go, hyung. everybody's begging you to stay. why can't you see that? why can't you understand that we all need you here?"

"i do see that. i know they're all begging that i stay with them." euijeong said, voice still soft. "but i don't belong here, taichi. i never did. i don't belong with anyone. i'm—i'm not good enough. and you'll all understand that when i'm gone."

"but that's not  _true,_ we want you here!  _i_ want you here!" taichi argued. he was beginning to feel desperate.

euijeong just smiled softly down at his hands and shook his head. "that's really sweet of you to say, and i really do appreciate it. but...i have no place here. and i won't pretend that i do. i've learned that my whole life."

taichi's eyes softened. "this is because of your mom, isn't it?"

euijeong looked up at him with wide eyes. "what? how do you know about...that?"

"jiwon told me." taichi said softly. "i'm sorry. i know it should've been you who told me when you were ready. but jiwon told me i should know, and now i do. so i want you to listen to me now, hyung. i know what it's like to be with someone like her, and i know you know that. trust me, i felt the exact same way you do now, after it all. i was convinced i wasn't good enough for anyone, and there was nothing that could change my mind. at least, that's what i thought. eventually, i did actually change my mind. and do you know how?" he asked gently, and euijeong shook his head. "geonwoong helped me. and so did seonghwan and jiwon. and eventually...so did you. they showed me that i  _meant_ something, they showed me that i'm worth more than nothing. and it's the same for you.you're  _important_ , hyung. and i need you to see that. i don't care what you say, i don't care what you think about yourself.  _you need to stay here._ we need you."

euijeong shifted in his seat. "but i...i can't risk it. i can't. not with you." he said softly.

"but  _why?_ what are you 'risking' by staying here?"

euijeong looked away. "i-i'm risking falling for you even more. so much that i won't be able to go." he said, so softly that taichi couldn't hear him.

"what?"

euijeong sighed and returned his attention to his hands in his lap. "it's nothing."

taichi watched him for a bit, trying to read him but he couldn't. euijeong's eyes were just too...dull.

"if this is about  _that_ , then...i know you're my soulmate, hyung."

euijeong snapped up to look at him. "what?!" he said, though his voice was still soft. "what are you talking about? i-i'm not-"

"don't lie to me." taichi cut him off. "jiwon told me everything. i  _know,_ hyung. and if i'd taken my head out of my ass for two seconds earlier on i probably would've figured it out on my own."

"but he...i told him i didn't want you to know."

" _why,_ hyung?" taichi asked, "why did you not want me to know?"

"because you're...perfect. a-and you deserve someone who's also perfect. and that someone...it's not me."

"do you really think that matters to me?" taichi demanded, "i loveyou _,_ hyung. in just the short month i've known you, i fell in love with you. because—because you  _are_ perfect. you're gentle, sweet and so, so cute...you're like a damn  _angel,_ and when i first met you i was convinced you were one. you're so fucking easy to love."

euijeong stared at him, blinking slowly and taichi could see him processing what taichi'd said.

"you love...me? really?" euijeong asked softly.

" _yes_ , i love you. i never meant to yell at you like i did, i-i just...i let what yuhwan said get to me, and it's my fault. i love you, alright? so much, and i fucked up so bad when i said what i did that day."

"but i...this is what i didn't want to happen, you need someone better than me, taichi." euijeong said, staring back down at his hands. "i'm not good enough for someone like you, so i-"

" _i don't care!_ " taichi yelled, cutting into euijeong's sentence, and euijeong flinched slightly. taichi was so damn desperate now. "i don't give a  _fuck_ about how good you think you are, or about what you think about yourself.  _i love you,_ dammit, we're  _soulmates,_ and nothing's ever going to change that. i want to be with you."

"but what if i hurt you again?" euijeong asked, voice incredibly soft.

taichi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. he was never going to get through to euijeong like this.  _only one way to do this._ he thought, before he stood up and plopped down in euijeong's chair right next to him.

"what are you doing?"

taichi took a deep breath before he leaned forward and pressed a soft peck to euijeong's lips. he pulled away quickly and tried to ignore how fast his heart was beating.

euijeong flushed a light shade of pink and touched his lips in shock, but he didn't say anything.

taichi flushed as well. that was a little  _too_ bold of a move and now he was pretty embarrassed.

"sorry, i-i just...i want you to understand how much you mean to me."

euijeong looked down, sighing softly. "taichi...i want you to understand that i do love you, alright?" he said, voice soft. "i-i'm just afraid of hurting you again. you're everything to me, and i wouldn't be able to stand it if i did."

"but that's  _normal_ , hyung." taichi said, and euijeong looked back up at him.

"what?"

"it's normal for people who love each other to fight and disagree. sometimes, couples will hurt each other but that's okay." taichi said softly. "look and sungchan and seonghwan-hyungs. they just had a huge fight but they've made up and put it behind them, because they love each other. what happened wasn't even your fault, but i needed someone to blame, so...you were my scapegoat. you didn't hurt me, hyung,  _you_ never did anything wrong. and it's normal to be scared of hurting someone important to you—if i ever say something even remotely similar to what i said to you that day, i...i don't know how i'll live with myself. don't be afraid of what might happen, embrace it. because yes, we might fight and hurt each other again, but...aren't we more likely to protect each other? to be  _happy_  together?"

euijeong stared down at the floor.

taichi took a deep breath before he reached over and grabbed euijeong's hand. euijeong didn't look up, but he squeezed taichi's hand gently.

"jiwon-hyung told me i needed to give you another chance. and i see now that he was right, so i am." taichi said quietly. "but i also understand that now, that isn't the only problem. hyung, you need to give yourself a second chance as well."

euijeong shifted uncomfortably, and his grip on taichi's hand tightened almost painfully.

"you never hurt me, hyung. in fact...you helped me the most. after yuhwan, i was sure i'd never be able to love anyone again. but then...you came along. i fell in love with you, hyung, and i never thought it was possible but i did. because you were so gentle and kind, i loved every moment i spent with you. i'd lose my focus during class thinking about you. i really, really, loved you. i still do. and nothing is ever going to change that."

euijeong took a shaky breath. "i know." he said quietly. "i love you too. it's just...i-i had a bad relationship too, you know? i had just escaped my mom. i was young and so stupid and i wanted to know what it was like to be loved, because i'd barely experienced it. but i got with the wrong person, and it didn't go well. so...in that case, i guess we're the same. because afterwards, i never wanted to love anyone again. i was scared and alone and i didn't want to go through that again." euijeong said, voice soft. taichi nodded, rubbing euijeong's hand comfortingly and urging him to continue.

euijeong took a deep breath. "and then...i met seonghwan and sungchan. i know what sungchan said about me when he fought with seonghwan, but i know he didn't mean it. he's just too sweet. and he doesn't know it, but...he actually helped me most, at that time. seonghwan was so kind and doted on me all the time, he wanted nothing more than for me to be happy and that meant the world to me. but sungchan was kind of awkward with me, and he didn't know how to help me. so he just stuck to seonghwan's side, doing the best he could to be helpful. what he doesn't know is that by watching the way he treated seonghwan and acted around him, i learned what it truly was like to be loved by someone. i watched him and saw what true love really was like, even though he never knew it. and i...i loved it. i wanted that, too. i wanted somebody i could love the same way sungchan loved seonghwan, and i wanted to believe somebody could love me like that, too. it...it helped me so much. i had new hope. even though i was convinced i was worth less than nothing, i had a little stronger of a cliff to hang on to. then...i met you. you were sick and miserable but you were so beautiful, i'm being completely honest when i say i've never met anyone as beautiful as you in my life. you  _became_ my hope, i loved being around you and i loved talking to you. i loved everything about you, and i still do. so...when i hurt you, i couldn't forgive myself. just when i was finally getting better, i fucked it all up. and i lost my hope...i lost you."

"but you have me now." taichi cut in gently, and euijeong looked at him.

"what?"

"i'm right here, hyung. you just told me how much i mean to you, so why do you keep trying to push me away? you deserve to be loved, and i can give that to you. i can love you the way sungchan loves seonghwan. i'll do anything for you. so please...don't push me away. i want to help you, i want to love you. so please, let me.  _stay_ , and i can show you what it's like to be truly loved."

euijeong stared down at the floor, obviously thinking it through. taichi watched him patiently, rubbing euijeong's palm with praying to whatever god there may be to convince euijeong to stay.

euijeong looked up and reached forward to pull taichi into a hug. "...alright." he said, voice incredibly soft. "okay. i'll stay."

"really?" taichi asked hopefully, and euijeong nodded.

"yes."

taichi smiled excitedly and laughed, squeezing euijeong as tight as he could. "thank you!! oh my god thank you so much," he said happily, "i'm going to make it all up to you so quick, i promise!! i'll never leave your side, and i'll do all your work for you—i'll give you all my extra money! and-"

euijeong chuckled fondly and cut him off by pulling back and pecking the corner of his lips.

taichi flushed a remarkably dark shade of red, and euijeong smiled.

"calm down, silly, you don't have   
to do anything for me. it's fine."

taichi smiled as well and nodded. "okay. but i'll still always be with you! i'm never leaving your side."

euijeong laughed. "okay. deal. and actually, is  _one_ thing i want you to do for me." he said, booping taichi's nose.

taichi nodded excitedly. "what is it?"

"be my boyfriend?" euijeong asked, and taichi blinked in surprise before he smiled and nodded again.

"of course i will, silly." he said, before he pretty much threw himself onto euijeong and trapped him in a bone-crushing hug. "i love you, hyung."

euijeong smiled fondly and hugged him back.

"i love you too, taichi."

"always?"

"always."  
  


 

•—🖤—•  
  


 

"damn. you've got a complicated ass group of friends, ji."

jiwon chuckled. "trust me, i know."

"we're not going to be like that, are we?"

"of course not, so long as we aren't stupid."

minsoo laughed, refilling both his and jiwon's glasses.

"i'm kind of glad you've told me this story. though, something makes me feel like you've dramatized some of it."

jiwon rolled his eyes. "and why would i do that?"

"because that's what you always do."

jiwon laughed. "yeah, you're right about that. you love it, though."

minsoo smiled. "i do. but seriously, now i know not to make the same mistakes and euijeong or taichi."

"i'd say so. please don't let some lunatic ex-boyfriend break us apart."

minsoo chuckled. "don't worry, i won't. and we  _are_ soulmates, after all."

"we're also married, so i'd rather not have to go through all the trouble of getting a divorce. you aren't worth that much effort." jiwon teased, and minsoo rolled his eyes.

"it's a good thing i drank all this wine. otherwise i wouldn't be able to put up with you."

"but you still love me."

"hm, i don't know about that." minsoo teased.

"well fine, even if you don't love me you love my di-"

"okay! that's enough." minsoo cut in. "and besides, i'm bigger than you."

"yeah, by  _one centimeter!_ "

"well that's one centimeter that you get and i don't."

"you know, i'm starting to think maybe i don't love you."

minsoo laughed. "i'm just kidding!"

"fine. i love you, you pain in the ass."

"love you too, ji."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaand we're done :)) thank you so much guys, i know i'm lazy af so sorry :(
> 
> also i have like,,,three other fics i never published??? yall wanna see those even tho blanc7's gone orrrr
> 
> anyway, thank you for everything, i lub u <3333333333


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